Aspies For Freedom

Between the ages of 3 and 8 I flapped my hands like it was going out of style. I could do it and make a snap like someone spapping their fingers. I also loved to run around rotating my arms and make fire engine noises. I did this very often, and many relatives felt it was quite odd. The teachers hated it. Eventually I learned to control it and by the time I was 9 stopped it altogether.
     My advice is to ignore it. As long as he's not hurting himself or others and not breaking things it's harmless. Eventually he will stop on his own when he gets tired of it. By the way I can still flap and snap. I'm 47 years old now. It's fun. See if he can put a stack of coins on his elbow and flip to catch them in his hand. I taught myself to do it then and can still do it. It is really quite cool. Good luck, Bill.

My son flaps a lot and he identifies two different flaps - one is for when he's excited and the other, which is slightly more vertical, makes him "feel comfy".

I've noticed people talking here about stims.  What is that?  Movements?  My son bangs his head off things, spins on the floor and runs in circles.  The last two seem to be nothing more than a way to pass the time!

My 4 year old makes the same noises when he flaps. I dont tell him to stop flapping unless we're somewhere crowded and he could hit someone. I do tell him to quiet down since he does the noises very loudly.

My son seems to be flapping more than ever, also the running in circles, which seemed to have reduced has started up again.  

It doesn't bother me at all, and I don't make any effort to stop or distract him, but I was wondering if this is something others have seen as causing problems for themselves or their children?

I used to do the finger thing too much, but it has been about 8 or 10 years since I have done it where I have to count and end on an even number (set to some music in my head).  (I play some piano too)


Marcia - how old is your son? When my ds was youmger he flapped more, didn't run into anyone with his hands so no real trouble - nad to me other kids ran around and ran into people and that was normal for them so - what is normal anyway... but occasionally his expressions when flapping didn't look friendly (kind of intense) so unless kids around him knew him he would (have) brought negative attention to himself. (we didn't have him around strangers at all, we kept a pretty controlled environment) He was very oblivious to others seeing him though - back then.  Now he hummmmms, hmm, hmm and rarely if ever flaps.  HE does rock - rather happily on thwe couch - or in the car - he says it does different things for him at different times.

The kids in the neighborhood had no idea he was any different (even when he didn't speak for 2 years, he was very happy) because of follwing a routine, getting freesh air, open spaces, good rest and food, and for him very importantly, the limited exposure to large or loud groups- we didn't limit their exposure to him - but his to theirs - as the large groups of yelling and chaos seemed to hurt his senses which in turn changed the way he even would walk or talk.  We worked it out that we would watch him to see what he could deal with and 99.% of the time he was perfectly unstressed - a great way to be.  
I used to do the finger thing but it has been about 8 or 10 years since i have done it.

My son is 6 years old.  He's fortunate in that the other children at his school are all very nice, the Assistant Head also made this point and said that in some other schools she's taught in it would be very different, so it doesn't seem to be an issue there.  His class teacher spoke to me about it when he first started school and insisted it was stress because he'd started school at 4.  I told her he'd always done it, so it was nothing to do with him being at school.

I would say that my son does have a lot of stims, always has, and when I looked at the stim list (see link below), I recognised a few that he'd grown out of.  He talks under his breath, to himself a lot as well, and gesticulates.  When I ask him about that he just tells me that he's havng a conversation with one of his invisible brothers or sisters - there are 12 of them!  And a couple of them have imaginary friends!


http://www.icando.org/stim_list.htm

That is fortunate. We were fortunate too, he grew up with some kids at a very small school. Then it closed and he now doesn't really know anyone at his school. Tis a shame.
My ds used to talk with the angels - well at first he wasn't talking but he'd smile at them and babble alot, he then told us about them around age 4 or 5, but not too long after he didn't see or hear them anymore.  By age 4 he had two younger siblings so I think maybe the house was too noisy to hear them or something. He still hears music though.
About 6 months ago he started a collection of plush figures and littel thinkers action figures, ben franklin, bethoven, davinci, einstein, etc., and he (says he) considers them real, he says they tell him things. I don't know for sure if he actually thinks so.

Earthmonkey: I think you lived my life.

I got teased for a lot of stuff...my vision...my odd behavior...my gullibility.  Everything...Retard and Lesbo were the favorite words...I got beaten up, even stabbed with scissors.  I still have flashbacks (PTSD)  By the time I got to high school I'd get scared and run if anyone tried to touch me or yell to me.

I no longer work so hard to suppress stimming...my friend said she knew I had AS when I began flapping and bouncing at the sight of a cop car.  I told her that she must be pretty special to me for me to do that in front of her.  I bark like a dog too...I don't know why.

I don't know what advice to give...i think stimming at home would be okay...but maybe small scale stimming (like finger stuff) would be more appropriate in public.

Lol!  My son barks as well.  Me, I've always been a miaower!

Sorry to hear about all the awful teasing and abuse you were subjected to.   Hope things are a lot better now..

Yes and no...i find it harder as time goes on...I've lost a lot of friends because my Aspieness was made apparent...and basically I was called "insensitive" and a "brat" amongst other foul words.  *sigh*

About verbalizing... this is an approximate phonetisization (however you spell that) of me talking to myself.

...y'neshnen tsirioekt ya nikornsrla debestr'tai nietic'...  

That doesn't mean anything and I'm pretty sure no language in the world uses all of those sounds together like that.  I obviously avoid this in places where people can hear me because it's really creepy.  Basically I just like the weird sounds and the challenge of pronouncing them.  Lately I've been humming more than doing this, though, which I think is an improvement.

As to actually flapping, movements like that annoy me.  The closest thing I do is a kind of guitar strumming movement with one hand when there's music playing, either in reality or in my head.  This is weird because I can't play the guitar. When I was smaller I did an extremely short, violent forearm movement that was kind of like flapping but was more about wanting to feel the pressure on my arm and hand from the gee forces.

Also I fiddle with things in my pockets, fiddle with my necklace, when I had a ring I'd twist it around all the time.  Until just recently I pulled at my hair a lot but I got it cut short so that's not so helpful anymore.  And I make a sort of slow grasping movement whenever I'm looking for something to say, like I think I can pull it out of the air.  This is actually helpful since it's apparently a very strong body signal that says 'I'm thinking.  Wait.'  It's also proven a hit in several school skits.

I bark back at noisy dogs.  I've also been known to howl at the moon like a coyote.

Ah, another talking cat person.  The barkers seem to be in the majority.

Out of curiosity - how do you talk cat?  I have a variety of miaows which I have learned from cats I've lived with throughout my life.  Also I use my eyes to communicate with cats.

I chirp as well!

I'd got the impression that the barking wasn't unusual.  The only other mother of an aspie boy that I've spoken to says that her son barks, as does mine.  Having said that, my son assumes the persona of "Pat dog" when he barks, so that's maybe different.  My son is now also "Frank the baby gerbil" and he's being doing a lot of squeaking!

AP, ds still seems to speak Korean or something...(rarely now) sounds like it to me anyway- I couldn't begin to spell it.