Last night the issue was one specific language arts page that he thought was way too much, so I took a pen and blacked out half the sheet, hoping that once the visual volume was reduced he could process better that he did not have to do it all, just make an effort and get some practice. But he STILL was all freaked out. So I tried skipping that subject and doing one of his favorites. But all he could think of was that with 4 different things to do, it was all too much. He wasted over an hour upset about how much homework he had to do - when if he had been able to sit down for 50 minutes, he would have been signed out. He knows it's a waste, we all do, but he can't get past the freak out.
Eventually, by fluke, he did go beyond the mental barrier last night, and managed to spend a solid hour getting work done, actually having a good time with it. He had gotten so upset at my trying to help him with some math that apparently I was doing wrong (not on purpose, lol) that he stopped to show me how he had been taught to do it. He loved doing that, explaining it to me. As problems melted away by him showing me the process, everything became less scary to him. But I can't use that every night, because it's a rare method that I don't have down pat, and he knows it.
My son and I talk about developing a process for going past the roadblock, but we don't have one yet. He would really, really like one.
Has anyone experienced this and what processes have you found work to make the assignments seem less intimidating?
This is a complicated issue, imo. His accommodations seem well beyond and above what Hope got at that age, though.
Sarahjoke is right in that they give more homework than ever. But I've yet to see a graduating class outperform my generation in their SATs, but I digress.
Accommodations sometimes in certain classes become a two-edged sword- they help, then hinder as the child becomes used to getting the extra help when really he/she should be pushed a little. You have to take it on a case by case, class by class basis. Bottom line: Listen to what the teacher says re what the child needs. It's impossible to stay abreast of all the classes once they are in middle school so it's helpful if your child is in special educ. so that at least ONE teacher can keep track of it all. Hope was in special education starting in 5th grade so, again, one teacher was able to monitor her progress. Hope mainly used this class to do homework, not remedial work (her IQ is above average).
Case in point: Recently Hope's sophomore English teacher, knowing she is an Aspie and reluctant to read long novels, allowed her to write a book report on a volume of poems instead. Hope had three weeks to read the slim volume of Billy Collins' poems but ended up reading only two poems. I was furious. I.e., that is an example of an accommodation that backfired big time.
One of the best things we did was have a very experienced high school teacher teach her study skills last summer for about 5 sessions. I may have this woman re-teach HOpe these skills again next summer as well. That, plus I constantly remind her to take small bites of all her assigned homework/study over the course of a week. I tell Hope is she just reviews at least once she will make good grades. I don't know where she is at the moment, but recently she was making nearly all Bs so it must be working (her best grades in two yrs.).
Also, this year it occurred to me she still didn't know how to organize and write reports so we are working on them together, also public presentations (she is taking public speaking). I try very hard to make sure the ideas are hers, but I am showing her how to write effective, flowing, professional-sounding prose. Few people in the workplace can write well (at least in the US) so hopefully this will pay off in the future.
I am really hoping next year I don't have to intervene at all- we'll see.
Hope this helps.
They had given her a worksheet with 3x5 inches to draw each drawing on... so I gave her some printer paper to draw each picture on... and it still takes forever... 
; or they have failed to grasp it and are just going to be totally lost unless the subject is taught in a completely different manner, usually by me.