Aspies For Freedom

When I was very young, I had a video called "Spider". It was an innocent, kid's cartoon about (duh) a spider.

I've just remembered that the first time I felt guilt, was this episode:
http://www.veoh.com/videos/v3731785Ew6j4YS

It's worth a watch, it's only 5 minutes long.



The thing is, when you're an aspie, you can think and feel. You can feel guilt, you can feel lonley, you can want a hug, but other's can't see it.
Because shouting and screaming is the only way to finally tell someone else how you feel, we get rejected. People are scared of us.

I've been pretty depressed for the last few days, remembering how I acted from school to school, and how being noticed was the only way to get things. I'm not going to make a large list of everything I've ever done wrong, but I now realize that even though I know how I feel, other people  really do have feelings. You can look out of your eyes, and see people, but they also look out of their eyes and see people.

The most important thing in the whole world is when you can cry and say "I'm guilty and lonely" and have others know how you feel, without them being scared of a shouting, screaming autistic kid.

So world, I realize now

Such a thoughtful post. You are learning and growing, and that is beautiful. Don't be depressed. You went through what you went through in school so that you could become who you are today. No matter how bad it was, it was worth it to get to YOU.

Is that video from somewhere other than America? It's so much deeper than the crap they show on TV for kids here in the states! I miss the kind of children's TV we had back in the 80's when I was growing up. So much of what I see on TV today is nothing but "cute fluff." Nothing to learn from...

Thanks for posting that! I enjoyed the video and I enjoyed your thoughts even more.

Taking the role of the other -- a big step.

Heh I remember Spider, old British cartoon..80s/early 90s at a guess.

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for the link - the whole series is on that site!

It was only days ago that Sonic and I were trying to remember the theme song! He and his twin adored the series on television when they were little, and I had to buy the video - it was on almost continuous loop! Even the older three adored it.

The video is long lost, now....

As for the guilt - I cannot improve on what x~aspire~x wrote. You are a very worthwhile person. Do not feel guilty for what you did as a child who didn't understand the consequences to others of what you were doing - you were only doing what you happened to need to do at the time. It is as pointless as feeling guilt for waking your parents in the night as a hungry new-born.

I never watched Spider growing up (today was the first time!), but watching that inspired me to spend a couple of hours today watching old shows from my childhood (Pinwheel and Today's Special mostly), and it was SO fun. I just totally kicked back and relaxed into it. I miss those days! Thanks for inspiring me to jump back into those good times for a minute. I needed it!

Thanks for sharing that video. I'd never seen it before, but i really liked it, especially since they didn't become friends in the end.  Poor spider.  
It's a good thing to think about how other people view the world. By the way your avatar makes me want to stare into and get lost. I love the jutting out effect of the black and then it comes out again in the middle in a cone-like manner.

I understand what you're saying about the cartoon. I sometimes will see cartoons, where I think they're putting the pressures of adult issues onto children's shoulders sometimes.

Yes, especially when they try and make the kids feel guilty for all the pollution on the planet. Kids need time to just be kids and it's better to ease them more gently into awareness of the environment.