The gist of what he's saying is good: don't ignore your child's other problems just because the child has high IQ.
There are a number of smaller nitpicks, such as calling Einstein, Mozart and Nash (who wasn't autistic but schizophrenic) aspies when there is evidence or consensus for it. Also, the idea that if you feel stuck at work, it's always entirely your own fault, and that IQ doesn't matter (it does; in some professions more than others, and not as much as some like to think, but it does, because it's an integral part of being a person).
Overall, though, it's sound advice.
Does schizophrenia not share some characteristics with autism in common? What I know of Nash is from a beautiful mind very good film. Good thread though, like a lot of the comments, I figured a long time that having successful relationships was what made me happy, its hard but I need to be social and around people, it hurts me when people reject me and hate on me especially when I don't know why.
It's the relationships that make us happy
Wrong, or, to be exact, too generalized. I was often unhappy with even succeeded relationships, yes, that rare cases of friendship made me even more escape into my "own world" than I already was. Not always (there are friendships I enjoy), but often.
But I was never unhappy with myself doing what I can do well. And the author also makes a mistake by saying career success=happiness. One can be successful and unhappy. As well as happy and unsuccessful. Everybody has his own definition of what makes him happy.
I've been in social skills training and found it very helpful. It is just an aid to make life easier for me. I still have my quirks, my passions, and my stims. I don't try to be like other people. I am strongly against making aspies conform to society, whether it's for their own good or not. There is no %$#@ way I'm going to fake NT just so that people don't judge me at first sight. It's just not worth it. I'd rather explain myself to everyone (and social skills helped me do that).
I agree with the above two posters that learning social skills has been a positive thing for me. I didn't participate in any formal social-skills training, but growing up in a large family and having a mother from the Deep South sort of secured the prospect of me learning how to interact with people at least semi-properly.
It has not changed who I am at all, it just allows me to be able to get through unanticipated social situations much more easily. I'm able to interact candidly with people effectively enough to hold down a steady job that involves a fair amount of customer service (I do it for the animals, though), which I am grateful for. If I didn't have a job, I wouldn't be able to get money and would have no hope of gaining any sort of independence, which is something I've always strived for.
When it all comes down to it, I think everyone (whether Aspie or neurotypical) should put at least some effort into learning how to more comfortably interact with other people. They most certainly do not have to become some kind of social genius, but knowing enough to be able to get through the inevitable little social situations that happen every day should be something to strive for. It just makes it easier for everyone.
After all, which would you prefer: putting a bit of effort into learning some social skills and being able to get through daily interactions without it feeling like absolute torture (usually
), or not learning anything and being intensely distressed/on the verge of breakdown when a cashier says to you "How are you doing today?". I know I would much prefer the former.
Also, the ability to speak is probably
the most important social skill we have, so anyone saying "I absolutely refuse to learn any sort of skills that would facilitate easier communication with other people" might want to consider giving up their ability to speak, hahaha.
I must agree with Batman.
i will simply not conform to what society expects of me,socially.
sure,I'll be polite,and i'll be offer my seat on the bus to the elderly etc, but i will not repress my stimming, manner of speech,or anything about myself to fit other peoples "comfort".
Same here!
In my Spanish class, the teacher ALWAYS makes students work in groups over really simple class assignments. UGHHHH! That's about as pathetic as it gets! He lets the students choose group members, so I'm always the odd one out. I hardly know anyone in that class. When students "work in groups," they socialize more and get less work done. Too bad people decided to cut the costs by changing the workplace, forcing people to multi-task and work together.
LOL, Im doing just fine on my high IQ. Im just like the kid in the article, I could read by the time I was two, went to the special ed preschool ect... I was reck then, but I think Im doing pretty well for myself now.
Most teachers will usually let you work alone on assignments that can be done by one person, if you talk to them about it. As long as they see that you are a competent worker who can actually do the assigned tasks on your own, they generally don't have a problem with it (at least in my experience). I was able to get out of having to work in a group about 80% of the time.
Also, the ability to speak is probably the most important social skill we have, so anyone saying "I absolutely refuse to learn any sort of skills that would facilitate easier communication with other people" might want to consider giving up their ability to speak, hahaha.
Yeah, I've been thinking about doing that. It would so help me express my individuality and unique personality. Oh yes!
Believe it not, but we CAN express our individuality through writing and/or art.
I do agree that we cannot depend on our IQ alone. I am certainly someone who has "faltered" as an adult.
However, I really question whether these so-called social skills can be taught. You can teach a child to say please and thank you, you can try to train them to make eye contact (as a teen I decided to train myself to make eye contact, and I can do it, but it's unnatural, I just stare through people without looking away). But can you really "teach" someone to be part of the crowd? Being part of the crowd is one of those pack mentality things that is up to the crowd, not the individual. I swear people just sense something in me that makes them know I am "other." If it is not an innate reaction, then I am sending out social cues so subtle I could never manage to "correct" them. It would be like trying to breathe with something other than my mouth.
It is true even for NTs that those with better social skills will get farther than NTs with lesser social skills. It's just not something you can teach beyond the rudimentary basics. You can't tell a person, "Okay, I'm going to teach you to be likable and before you know it, you'll be likable and you will get ahead." (Well self-help gurus claim that all the time, but they're charlatans.)
So I think the emphasis should be on THEIR acceptance of US. Not our trying to squish ourselves into a mold that will never fit us anyway.
I couldn't agree more with these comments.
On a similar note, how do women stand wearing thin, sleeveless dresses when it is freezing outside?
They must be very warm-hearted. 
As I've said on this topic, and several other topics, I think there's a balance.
I'm often forced into groupwork that I don't want to. Teachers and parents say that I have to learn to interact with others if I ever were to manage a work environment.
However,
Groupwork always end in failure and bad feelings from the other group members against me, always cause alot of frustration, and basically makes me hate school.
So what do I really gain from group work?
I would probably benefit from learning social interaction somehow, but group work can obviously not be it at this point of time, because I simply can't handle it.
Wow...that's me in a nutshell.
As I've said on this topic, and several other topics, I think there's a balance.
I'm often forced into groupwork that I don't want to. Teachers and parents say that I have to learn to interact with others if I ever were to manage a work environment.
However,
Groupwork always end in failure and bad feelings from the other group members against me, always cause alot of frustration, and basically makes me hate school.
So what do I really gain from group work?
I would probably benefit from learning social interaction somehow, but group work can obviously not be it at this point of time, because I simply can't handle it.
Wow...that's me in a nutshell.
It's funny, because I can work quite well in some groups but not in others. I work best in groups where the people are fairly quiet but keen on getting a task done (as opposed to being loud and not taking the task seriously or arguing and wasting a lot of time).
That doesn't mean I don't like a bit of fun but getting interrupted is the thing I hate most. Working in a pair or as one of three is usually okay for me too but I generally find myself being "swamped" in groups larger than about 6 or 7.
Yes, most men do wear shirts pressed with either your choice of either light, medium, or heavy starch. I don't know what the ladies all do for dry cleaning but they probably pay more.
You can loosen up, upbutton the top button, don't have to buy tight sizes. And good heavens no, haven't you heard of air conditioning? That's what is wrong with America, using most of the world's air conditioning because we dress up so warmly!
Maybe it is being so close to a major major world city, or the fashion sense that goes along with the politick (gee I will be glad when King George Bush II goes back to Texas and has a Welcome Home barbie back in Crawford)
Ah well, I don't buy any clothes that require dry cleaning. I just chuck them into the washing machine and drip-dry most of them. Starch is so 1950's.
Exactly. I know IQ alone isn't going to do it. Gee whiz, my IQ is far above average, don't they think I can figure that one out on my own?!? Of course, EQ alone isn't going to cut it either... how many *** CEOs are there out there? I really hate it when people are mean about EQ and the like... sure, they might do better on average in interacting with other people, but it's really not very nice and social to pick on others, whether those others have a high EQ or not. Just because their EQ is higher than mine doesn't mean they can bully me about my EQ.
Yeah!