Felt like I should clarify that I'm all about taking a break after school for fun, relaxation and replenishment.
But if kids not doing their homework or chores intentionally when I've done my best to accomodate them, they will loose fun activities- regardless of their neurological wiring.
I'm confused here (and derailing this thread, sorry) but what's wrong with taking away computer time for bad behaviour?
What would be a better punishment?
It's the way they say it, as if they are proud of how upset it makes their kids. I think a better punishment for bad behaviour is time-out. Also, it's not a good idea to expect too much of aspie kids when they first come home from school. All kids need time to destress after school, especially aspie kids.
They should at least be able to have a snack and some "down-time" before they are expected to do anything else.
This sounds horribly familiar.
I can remember when I used to come home from school i'd be exhausted and hungry/thirsty having walked home most days. First thing i'd do would be to walk into the kitchen and get a drink of coke. My parents insisted that I got changed and did all my homework (even if it took hours) before I could do this.
That's horrible!
Hope's Dad stops at the Kangeroo (gas station) every day after school and lets her pick out a "treat".
...when you rant on members of the autistic community, who are able to express themselves, that they have no idea of what it means to grow an autistic child.
If your idea of helping autistics is to gather with other mothers to cry and complain bitterly about how hard YOUR life is with such an unfair burden. Extra points if you slip into a perverse competition about who has the worst child and most miserable life.
You know youre a curebie parent if you think there's a person held hostage inside your child.
You know you're a curebie parent when you refuse to buy a cat because "all cats have Aspergers" and you really don't want a diseased animal.
LOL
One with sympathy for the parents....
You know how much society hates Aspies, you really love your kid, you want your kid to succeed, and you lose sleep over your kid not succeeding out there (being unemployed, not earning enough to make it without you).
The curebie parents are pretty much the only people in the world willing to be your safety net if all else fails. Grumbling, yes. But willing.
You know you one day you'll die and your kid will be without you.
It is my impression that curbie parents actually create financial hardship for the family by spending outrageous amounts of money on whatever "cures" the charlatans will sell them next.. which also puts a strain on the marriage.
Hey now, just because somebody isn't in the paid workforce DOES NOT mean they are a failure as a person! Success is measured in many ways and a person who isn't working but who is good company to their parents and helps them is a success in my opinion.
It doesn't matter where the money comes from. It could be a trust fund. It is a moral shame if the money was illegally acquired of course.
But rest assured without money, and in loco parentis, in the place of the parents (maybe when the parents are dead), the offspring will have a major problem. Money does not grow on trees. and any evaluation of being a so-called failure as a person is irrelevant as an economic consideration.
Yes, if the parents are alive, and have money, and are too elderly to physically handle shopping, laundry, trash, and the young can but have no money, you can have a symbiotic relationship. I know, I tried it.
The only complication is when the other parent is trying to get the kid out the door because he (dad in my case) sees the kid as a liability not as a symbiotic partner Dad was so effective in this regard that my brother would not even consider the possibility of helping Mom at all, and in the end game, last 90 days of Mom's life, I did not want to take a leave of absence either.
Being female you may also be considerably more conducive to the care of an elder or incapacitated parent. A co-worker from Egypt said they had no nursing homes.... but I think he meant the daughters in law ended up caring for them. I think if Mom had had a daughter she could have "volunteered" to help, but absent the daughter, and given my brother worked first, I was it. Women are usually encouraged to "help", men usually get no such encouragement. I know the encouragement I got was to help by leaving.
Dad's family...... his sister (my aunt) helped grandma. Do you see a trend here?
Son... get the hell out of here.
Daughter... come back, we need your help.
This is kind of typical in America at least in generation X. I hope it is different in generation Y or at least generation Z.
Shrek,
My grandmother needed caring of her kids. All three kids helped mom. And when my dad got married, and after that his sister too, the youngest son stayed in the house and took care of his mom.
The other two dropped by very regularly to assist.
When my single uncle got sick, my dad and his sister helped out. As well as two of my brothers who lived nearby.
About 20 years ago my mom had a very nasty fall. She had to be in bed for weeks. My youngest brother called me home to explain how the new washing machine worked. (highly dyslectic, he could not read the manual) After that he offered me coffee and send me home. Then he called school to say he could not attend class for a while, because he had to take care of his mom and the household. And he did just that. He also thought up nifty things so my mom would not be bored to death lying flat on the bed for weeks.
There are more stories like that in our family. And not only in ours.
Men can be very caring too. And it is not only the females that do it voluntarily.
And my family did not want to cure the boys from 'sissy' things like that. It was highly appreciated.
Yes, my dad became the 'man' in the house at 13. My aunt was about 10 by then. My uncle 3. Their dad died. Doctors had said his disabled mom and younger brother would die very soon too. They proved the doctors wrong, but they did need a lot of care.
And I think my dad and his sister both are on the spectrum.
1. We were Democrats, I am
2. I am a realist- a sociology M.A.
3. Dad told me what he told me, my brother could not be bothered for Mom or Dad, I would have much rathered get a job and get out than be around for Dad. I did invite Mom in, both for company and for sharing the rent.
4. Tell my brother that men care. Or maybe I would have had a jerk sister too.
Of course good old Dad was too blind to see that he wasn't going to be much help to Mom after he was dead.... so getting me out of the house was not going to do her any good in his absence. It is almost as if God needed to deny me takeoff clearance to force me to stick around.... but dad didn't figure it out
Negative, Flight 60, denied clearance to take off.