Aspies For Freedom

and ban him from using the internet and playing computer games because he didn't want to do his homework and his chores straight after coming home from school and got very agitated when you insisted.

wierdest emotions reading these- funny and sad all at once.   I wish we could have one that was outlandishly incorrect and funny so that I wouldn't notice the sad ones.

Over on Wrongplanet, you see post after post by parents who punish their kids by taking away their computer time because they have done something "bad" like not wanting to do homework or jobs around the house or something similar. I don't agree with never disciplining children but what disturbs me is the kind of glee some of these parents show when relating their stories.

I'm confused here (and derailing this thread, sorry) but what's wrong with taking away computer time for bad behaviour?

What would be a better punishment?

It's the way they say it, as if they are proud of how upset it makes their kids. I think a better punishment for bad behaviour is time-out. Also, it's not a good idea to expect too much of aspie kids when they first come home from school. All kids need time to destress after school, especially aspie kids.

They should at least be able to have a snack and some "down-time" before they are expected to do anything else.

HA HA HA. Thank you, outlandishly funny is much better after staying up too late last night with sick kids.

Pakrat- I agree mostly with what you say. But isn't a time-out really a good thing for aspies? My mom used to get so frusterated when I'd act out and she'd send me to my room and find me later enjoying myself alone. Some discipline needs to be negative, and witholding favorite activities/toys is an incentive to do the right thing later.  To me, that is basic discipline.

However, if it is the attitude of the parents that is bothering you than I'll agree there. I don't usually understand parents that have some sort of glee in disciplining their kids.   Sometimes kids are frusterating and there is some sort of "sweet revenge" feeling from that, understandable at times but not to that degree.

You know you're a curebie parent if:
-you discourage your child from being himself in public
-you stick a "Cure Autism Now" sticker on your car without knowing how upset your child will be once he knows about his autism
-you try to make your child fit in with the "cool kids"
-you don't think your child will ever make it, no matter how gifted and talented he might be
-you yell at your child for showing AS traits (including stimming)
-you talk behind his back about how you wish he would stop doing X

And if your child rebels, later, he will side with Neurodiversity and talk behind your back online.

one from me, now that I've gotten over my grumpiness:

your friends don't even bother complaining about their NT kids, you'll beat them hands down in the complaint department.

Yeah, nothing like exhaustion and dehydration to ensure maximum concentration upon the all-important homework...(sarcasm)

...You extend your recriminations to nagging via post.

(Like something I got from my mum today. "You need to make more eye contact because I noticed that you don't and..." blah blah.)

(Perhaps I will write back. "Shut up. F* off. Leave me alone.")

I don't know if George Bush would understand that. It's a shaky question, isn't it? Negative Intelligence... isn't that another way of saying "No!"?

The Weapons of Mass Destruction they said Iraq had; only thing they had there were Negative Intelligence... then they fiddled with it a little, hum hum...

Sorry cj, I meant to give your question 10 points of 10 possible points but I think it deserves additional points!!!

+

Taking away a special interest is always bad. Special interests are a way to relax and re-focus yourself--something you need when you are off-balance enough to misbehave.

I agree with time out. It is very good for an autistic person. If you've done something against the rules, especially impulsively or because you're not in good control of yourself, getting time away to think can really help you. And if you're in a full-out meltdown, time out is about the only thing that's guaranteed to help at all.

Don't ground them... it does no good for someone who's already socially reclusive!

If you want to punish (really, positive is better, but there's not a kid alive who hasn't needed that at some time), target the mid-range stuff. Not the things that are extremely important to him, and not the stuff he doesn't care about. Too severe, and you foster rebellion and create overload; too little, and it's ineffective. Reduce the allowance, for example, or assign an extra chore. And make it really, really predictable--to the point that, when the kid is doing something against the rules, he knows exactly what the punishment is. That really helps you to stop yourself before you ever have to be punished at all.

...and you keep doing it every time your child has a meltdown, even though it doesn't work.

You have an obsessive interest in curing autism which you constantly lecture about, and you're oblivious to your audience's nonverbal cues that they are tired of hearing you talk.

You have no idea what your child may be thinking, mostly because you assume that it isn't important.

You refer constantly to "behaviors".

Anyone can convince you of anything, as long as they offer a cure and a sufficient stock of testimonials.

"Different" has an extremely negative connotation for you. "Disabled" is synonymous with "tragic".

You get so angry when someone suggets that you might be on he spectrum that you have to go home and re-align your radio antenna collection

You know you're a curebie parent if you think of your child as carrying a suitcase of autism chained to his/her wrist.

You know you're a curebie parent when you insist that your child is miserable with said suitcase of autism and still insist on it no matter how many times your child communicates the opposite, whether through smiles, writing, or speaking or other means.

You know you're a curebie parent when you refuse to buy a cat because "all cats have Aspergers" and you really don't want a diseased animal.

Nobody will give me a job, for some reason, but I don't count myself a failure.

I have enough intelligence to make money for myself.