Hi wl5661, and welcome.
I am homeschooling my children. If you are inclined to fight the good fight then there should be some sort of special needs advocacy group there to help you. I don't know which state you are in, etc., but feel free to PM me with further information if you are so inclined. I am in Virginia. From what you have written here, it sounds you have standing for redress. I have a neighbor here who fights the good fight -- not sure where she finds the energy. By the time they'd settled the IEP there were neuropsychologists and lawyers involved and she'd been to about 100 meetings .... and her daughter is in 1st grade. I won't try to tell her story because I've probably already messed it up.
You may want to find a homeschooling group in your area and coordinate with a few of their gatherings. Perhaps once your son realizes that he will not be socially isolated, but rather socially liberated, he may see things a different way. This might be a good place to start if that is something you care to pursue:
http://www.nhen.org/
Hope all goes well. It is unfortunate that bullying children so often have bullying parents, it would have been good if this could have been handled between rational adults.
Anti bullying policies in general are rubbish- the one at my school is. I think you may just need to press the school to breaking point. If they are refusing to even investigate then that is just wrong.
I was homeschooled.
It allowed me to explore my region of interest to a very high level.
however, i did have some problems going back into a normal school after 4 years or so.
I was still bullied, so my mum put me into a public (private) school. where my...differences were actaully encouraged,and bullies didnt stand a chance.
yes,well,they should be last resort measures.
although i must admit, i have had to resort to it in the past.
tell your son,if they attack him, FIGHT DIRTY.
If not, then it's best to turn and walk away yourself.
I don't think I agree, in an ideal world it is the best option, but...... unfortunately I think you need to weigh up the situation and consider punching them back really hard and simply be prepared to cope with consequences.
Well said. I never thought you had it in you, Luce! *grins*
If not, then it's best to turn and walk away yourself.
I don't think I agree, in an ideal world it is the best option, but...... unfortunately I think you need to weigh up the situation and consider punching them back really hard and simply be prepared to cope with consequences.
Well said. I never thought you had it in you, Luce! *grins*
Kicking the bully really hard in the knee or punching them hard in the nose might just make them think twice about it the next time. I also know of a boy who kept a snake in his schoolbag to prevent bullies from raiding it. The snake was poisonous so he's lucky he didn't get into trouble.
How on earth are those of you with the diagnosed children dealing with the in school bullying? The reactions of the school systems seem to vary. The situation my son has wound up in has left me sick. he dreads school , hates physical education ( that is where bullying is the worst) and worse yet the school does nothing about it.
Oh yeah they have the rote program that they tell the kids what bullying is and that the kids should be kind and that is more or less where it ends . The kids are so cruel.
My son met his bully while playing for the junior basketball team. The kids on the team did not hit it off but one boy was really out to get my son.After the season was over , the boy went down on my son while my son was changing his clothing while another child stole his gym locker lock. --my son was devastated --but he was afraid to tell anyone and waited 2 days to tell anyone. the schools reaction was to tell the boys to keep away from each other. ( there is a charge of sexual harrassment in there) meanwhile while my son is covered by an individualized education plan the p.e. teacher told my son he could change his clothing in a closet. and the kid instructs his girlfriend to harrass my son--she made a pass at him! I complained and naturally she said my son misunderstand the girl --fast forward a few months and my son begins a new school year and the kid sneaks up on him and sits beside him saying to the teacher that he needed to move forward so he could see the board. I emailed the teacher as soon as my son told me --then i called the boys mother and she threatened to call the police if i ever called her again--all i did was tell her that i did not want her son to even look at my son. The school did the same thing again this year told the boys not to talk to each other.
the phys.ed teacher singles my son out and the boys in his class snicker and point fingers when a new skill is demonstrated. of course the school placed him with the basketball team for physical education.
I complained to the state i live in - the school defended its bullying program. they defended the list of allegations that i made and they accused me of violating ferpa laws with my complaint --my sons name was not even mentioned.
the local support groups are in favor of home schooling they say these kids internalize the garbage that goes on in school and bring it home to mom--say homeschool these kids . it is the only solution . but my son doesn't understand and is not in favor of homeschooling.
This bullying sound quite alarming to me ( if going down on him means what I think it does ) but I think homeschooling would be a mistake as would hitting the other child involved. Children need to learn how to look after themselves in preperation for adult life. Bullying is never nice especially if you have AS but it is a reality of life and running away from it will only store up problems in the future. Also in my experience it is often possible for the children concerned to sort the issues out themselves, eventally.
indeed- trenchies make you look bigger, so you become less of a target.
me, i prefer a more...active deterrent...
I know of a boy who kept a poisonous snake in his locker. It let him handle it without biting but scared the cr.. out of anyone who tried to interfere with his stuff.
It was a brown snake and brown snakes are poisonous.
well....I would say THAT counts as an active deterrent....
I think you get that in most schools. They forget that not all parents can attend PTA meetings. I've seen it happen quite often that kids whose parents are active in the PTA get to be prefects and get more academic awards and better treatment than the other kids. It's all about interpersonal politics.
I have to agree that some teachers may give preference to kids or parents who are active in the PTA, but I don't want to assume it's political.  I think it's more about presence and access.  I'm very active with our PTA, and I'm room parent for my daughter's class, and the simple fact is that everyone at the school knows our family better as a result. Â
They know what our concerns are, they know how we think, and they know we'll be fair.  And I'm around to be vocal in support of my kids, while knowing how to phrase it in a positive way. Â
Other parents may not have the information and access - not because anyone wants to deny it to them, but because they just don't have the communication.  As a room parent, I work to give every family in the class that communication, but it can be difficult.  The world helps those who help themselves.  That's a life lesson.
OKay, but what about the more than 50% of families where both parents work? They are less likely to be able to spare the time to get heavily involved in PTA.
I can also show how it gets political. Mum and dad had seven children. Anyway, when I was in primary school, mum decided to get involved in the Parents & Friends (same as PTA). When she offered to help, she was told they didn't need help. Then the same people turned around and whinged that nobody wanted to help.
Since mum had to make a fair amount of sacrifice to even get to the meetings (dad not being used to looking after the kids on his own), she became disillusioned and disengaged.
I'd have liked to help more at my daughter's schools but have had to work full time since I was in my early 20's. I went to a few events but feel sorry that I didn't go to more.
It's just important to realise that not all parents who don't get involved in school activities are apathetic - there might be good reasons for them not to be there.
See, transport was a problem for me as I don't own a car. I'd have had to walk 10 blocks in the dark both ways to get to the P & C meetings. I got involved a bit by donating stuff for fetes and offering to help on the plant stall but I wasn't thanked and they didn't tell me that at the last moment they had enough people to help so even though I specially got time off work and went to the fete, my presence wasn't required. Needless to say, I got rather brassed off about this, even though I got on quite well with the secretary in the school office.
It's wonderful that you've got an outreach thing happening and I think that is very important. Some parents don't go to P & C or volunteer because their school days were unhappy and they feel awkward about being near a school ever again. Having a welcoming presence is so vital so that people such as this or others who feel a bit shy are involved.
I would have liked to have been involved more than I was, that's for certain.
I wish I had fought guys who gave me trouble, even if I got bruises and scratches and it hurt. Maybe I would have hurt them just as bad or worse.