Aspies For Freedom

I'm about to discover Monthy Python.

Every lift (elevator for those in the USA!) has braille on its buttons and yet they are all in a different shape, position and layout - how on earth is a blind person supposed to find them in order to read them?

Our family fun is with the caution signs that say 'cross winds'; we call them 'annoyed breezes'.

I found a "slow mud" warning sign amusing once when we were going on holiday, with these two big piles of mud that had been dug up from roadworks going along the sides of the road ;p

I think those "caution horses" signs are funny; ditto with "doors are alarmed". Are "caution horses" a new breed of horse? Perhaps horses that are a little more cautious than usual?
I didn't realise doors were animate beings, who could feel emotions such as "alarm". I'm sure there must be other examples too.

Drown.

Humans.

They don't mean mace as in the old-fashioned (but hell neat) skull-crushing spiky weight on stick, they probably mean the mace spray, its like OC or CS gas spray, good for self defence and generally being nasty.

No corpses? damn spoilsports

Makes the 'warning may contain nuts' label on a jar of salted cashews the other week pale by comparison.

Still a shame about the corpses though, you never know when a severed human head might come in handy....

My theory about the blind cross signs, is there must be some standard depth of ditch, where Q is the quantity of water present, V is the velocity of the approaching vehicle, B the quantity of blind people present at any one puddle spot in any one time, and A(anger) how damn cross said blind people get when vehicle passes by at speed, hitting puddle on the way thus Q*V=BA=proportional amount of anger experienced by a given amount of blind people waiting at the crossing, when hit by filthy muddy water, driven faceward by a vehicle of a given velocity

Not bad for someone with severe dyscalculia eh?

And yes I am a ***

*** hell, that really is the first time I have ever used algebra, without threat or coercion, ever, and likely the only one too.

And I thought my days spent lighting up smokes in math class were fun but ultimately fruitless

I never said my equation was brilliant, in fact it sent my head round in **** circles trying to come up with it, the mathematic part that is.

Tonic, I just posted my joke on a site I visit (bluelight.ru), do you mind if I post your followup in the same thread?

I found it pretty funny

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.ph...ost5476715 thead link here for those who like (sometimes pretty off color) jokes

Night people.

I'm the only one I know who laughs at "SLOW CHILDREN AT PLAY" signs on streets.

In Sweden those signs are "drive slow living children" as though you were at a drive-thru zoo. It did actually take me a few moments to read your one the right way, I thought that's rude like saying "handicapped children at play"...

Yes, that's how I always read it as well. It should be written like "SLOW! CHILDREN AT PLAY" if it is to properly convey the intended meaning.

The "living children" signs sound hilarious, what other kinds of children would there be... Dead ones?

your humor is confusing