If you got a strange, unfamiliar and unexpected feeling creeping over you which you couldn't control, couldn't describe and seemed to grow stronger and stronger, what would you do?
You would be in a uncomfortable situation, wouldn't you?
I remember my school had this idea that I needed to get routines, as other autistics seemed to appreciate routines. So my aide wrote a timetable right infront of me (and I couldn't control that action of his) and was presented with a timetable that I suspected could have a hidden agenda as it was something funny with these aidees (and I didn't know what possible agendas would be behind the timetable).
I was immediatly uncomfortable with the timetable and chose to throw it away.
Paranoia is something that is hard for me to balance, it is very complicated to control it correctly and that is not something I learnt in school, maybe it was just enforced to an extreme by all the bullying there - If I left my school bag by the desk in the classroom I had to expect that someone would throw it out the building and if I did as I was told by my classmates I would likely get humiliated.
If you got a strange, unfamiliar and unexpected feeling creeping over you which you couldn't control, couldn't describe and seemed to grow stronger and stronger, what would you do?
You would be in a uncomfortable situation, wouldn't you?
I remember my school had this idea that I needed to get routines, as other autistics seemed to appreciate routines. So my aide wrote a timetable right infront of me (and I couldn't control that action of his) and was presented with a timetable that I suspected could have a hidden agenda as it was something funny with these aidees (and I didn't know what possible agendas would be behind the timetable).
I was immediatly uncomfortable with the timetable and chose to throw it away.
Paranoia is something that is hard for me to balance, it is very complicated to control it correctly and that is not something I learnt in school, maybe it was just enforced to an extreme by all the bullying there - If I left my school bag by the desk in the classroom I had to expect that someone would throw it out the building and if I did as I was told by my classmates I would likely get humiliated.
I have a problem with the fact that he did it for you rather than asking you to work out your own schedule. You aren't a little child and should be given ownership of your actions.
A little paranoia isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sad to say that you will continue to encounter cruelty throughout life, no matter who you are.
Well that might have been because I told I didn't really know how to begin writing the timetable.
Another thread where I just think, mainly for myself but I let people jump on if they want ofcourse.
Gifted autistic children and the feel of control...
Gifted children seem to often be described with constant interest in new things. While many autistics are described as people who don't like change. Change is something that can be stressfull to control, but if you can somehow feel safe about the change because you can somehow control the sensation of it then you might even find interest in it, right?
I wonder if there's a philosophy one can follow to give many more autistics the possibility to develop mental abilities and knowledge in a superior way to eg ABA.
I remember I've always dreamed about having the possibility of somehow controlling my own education, but apparently parents and teachers thought that was a way too far-fetched idea.
I remember this video at Aspie Home Education:
http://aspiehomeeducation.blogspot.com#6716749835989857737
I had to find that number at the end of that link from the page's source code, heh.
I don't know how successfull this kind of education is, or if any of the students are autistic, but I guess there would be problems of letting the students choose so freely what they do.
And what is a feel of control, is it freedom? Not necessarily. Often tasks with huge amounts of possibilities are overwhelming to me and I don't know where to start. I like to call such tasks "abstract" because they can be unprecise in what the teacher wants or how to accomplish the things the teacher wants. So a task with alot of "freedom" don't give me a feel of control at all.
If you got a strange, unfamiliar and unexpected feeling creeping over you which you couldn't control, couldn't describe and seemed to grow stronger and stronger, what would you do?
You would be in a uncomfortable situation, wouldn't you?
I remember my school had this idea that I needed to get routines, as other autistics seemed to appreciate routines. So my aide wrote a timetable right infront of me (and I couldn't control that action of his) and was presented with a timetable that I suspected could have a hidden agenda as it was something funny with these aidees (and I didn't know what possible agendas would be behind the timetable).
I was immediatly uncomfortable with the timetable and chose to throw it away.
Paranoia is something that is hard for me to balance, it is very complicated to control it correctly and that is not something I learnt in school, maybe it was just enforced to an extreme by all the bullying there - If I left my school bag by the desk in the classroom I had to expect that someone would throw it out the building and if I did as I was told by my classmates I would likely get humiliated.
I have to agree with you on all of the points, particuarly not trusting the "aide", who you seem (from context) to be untrustworthy.
This can also be an issue in therapy; if the therapist writes out a schedule or list of tasks to do but you don't think you can do them all. I think it is a good idea to have lists but there needs to be more input from the person who has to follow them so that they feel some control over the task.
In my observations the need to feel in control and the implicitly implied but sometimes not truly connected ability to deal with things is very real, and directly connected to the vast majority of stress in a person's life. Violation of the need to feel in control can really mess a person up if just left alone, the shell shock observed in WW1 being a rather extreme example.
Of course, it's natural for people to not really perceive the other person as being as real as themselves and aren't necessarily acknowledging the reality of the consequences of their actions on another person. So they don't really appreciate that doing what they're doing how they're doing it isn't quite doing the favor they think they're doing. That should carry over to the members of the Neurotypical conglomerate as well. Of course, they have more inherent slack because they aren't already being pushed thanks to being what amounts to a not-them in a world of thems [NTs in this case].
I do not have a real good static solution for you, but the dynamic one is still not really ready for mass consumption even if other people can actually operate it. I could show you my model which one of the people I showed it to noted had a lot of similarities to Skinner's ABA in some of its underlying principles, although unlike the Skinner's ABA it designed for a person to operate and optimize themselves while being able to see how both they and other organisms operate. It is however inherently complex, and I've yet to really get anyone else to be able to appreciate just what it is they're looking at despite my efforts to make it as clear and accessible as possible. Would you care to give it a test drive, and give me feedback from another person on the spectrum?
Part of the effects I've observed with incrementally stronger implementation on myself is being better able to handle people's excesses as it gives me the tools to both recognize how and why they're operating the way they are and do something about it if I so choose.
It would be interesting to see this model; just depends how complex it is. Does "complex" mean it is wordy or instead have many different parts?
I was recently looking at an Aspie website for managers but didn't think much of the corporate ethos that was being espoused because it was so inimical to how must of us aspies operate.
Complex in this case is complex in the same sense that Calculus is. Fundamentally neither the tools, nor the concepts of Calculus are inherently particularly difficult or that complex. It however involves looking at things basically from a different perspective then one is normally used to. If that makes any sense.
It's ten pages not including a still very incomplete attached list of various human phenomena and how they relate. It has a group of 9 factors, making for either 27 or 25 components depending upon how you count them. It also has two flowcharts showing diagrams of two processing modes that are sufficiently different to rate their own flowcharts instead of trying to show how one simplifies into the other. I don't see any tools on this board software for attaching files so I can send it as an attachment to your e-mail address, although I'm going to make a few more refinements before I do. So it should probably be in your inbox before the end of the day anyway.
Oh yeah, in that specific case with the aide what I would do using the capabilities of my model is basically say:
"I'm sorry *Insert aide's name here.*, [Initial Disrupt] but it won't work for me if you do it for me. [Disrupt to derail] Could we please do this together? [redirect]"
Note that you have to do smooth transitions with a maneuver like that. If you influence their components for being able to feel right with themselves in the wrong way they are liable to try to fight you on it so they can preserve feeling right with themselves. There's just no reason to pick what is ultimately an unnecessary fight.
Ah thanks. I was bad at calculus at school but think it was because I needed to be shown how to do it. It wasn't through lack of intelligence as such - just finding it an unfamiliar concept. 10 pages doesn't sound too daunting and anything that can avoid unnecessary fights and conflicts immediately has a lot going for it.
Uhm I just realized your profile isn't giving me either the actual email address or a way to send attached files. Could you PM me your e-mail address please? You'd lose a lot of the formatting if I tried to just copy the Word text into something that'll send it as text, in addition to the flow charts.