Has anyone had friends or acquaintences suddenly cut all contact with you?
In my experience, several poeple close to me, that I had known and hung out with for years, abruptly shut me out of their lives. Within a short period of time, two girls, that I had seen romantically and not over the years, cut contact with me: i.e. they stopped answering my calls and messages and never tried to contact me again.
What made this so hurtful is the fact that they did this so suddenly and unexpectedly. One day we would be chatting on the phone or hanging out, or they would even invite me to join them, and literally the next they were gone; no explanation or apology,
I never had many friends that were girls, and this was just devastating to me, because I quickly realized a pattern as well as the notion that 'this kind of thing' doesn't happen to people....just me.
I want to emphasize that these people were not just buddies, but some of the closest friends I've ever had.
This is horrible and very rude of them too. I would suspect somebody has spread bad rumours about you and that's why they cut off contact. Depends on the age group too.
Could something have changed in the lives of the women which made it difficult for them to maintain contact with you?
You said that you had seen both women “romantically”…is either lady in a relationship? Some guys feel uneasy if they’re partner/girlfriend is still friends with someone they previously had romantic feelings for. Perhaps they’ve been pressured into breaking contact with you.
Whatever the reason...it was unfair to cut contact with you without explanation.
Well, even if these ladies had a new boyfriend, surely they could have sent a quick message saying they were now in another relationship and couldn't talk very much any more. It would still hurt but wouldn't be as bad as severing all contact with no explanation. It would also have to depend on how the romantic relationships ended.
I certainly wouldn't want to talk anymore to a guy who'd dumped me for another woman but he would know very well how I felt before I cut off the contact. It doesn't seem as if this is quite the same scenario.
Unfortunately, modern society also encourages people to be shallow and fickle.
This happens to me regularly to some degree or other; even though this year it happened both times in an obvious way, both girls I fancied a lot... in both cases we went for a movie then they both totally ignored me the day after... didn't answer my messages etc... the first time I told myself "oh well", the second time I thought there might be something unusually wrong with me. It was sudden, abrupt and without explanation... this happens with males too, people just froze up in front of me, people are never at ease with me.
Last year again, a girl I was dating for a week, it was the third time I was seeing her, she hugged me when she saw me, looked at my eyes with a weird stare, then... the day after, no more news... she sent me a message "I am attracted to you but that's weird, I don't understand...sorry" nothing more...
Never thought it might be linked to some AS pattern or that it was something unusual (I assumed it was merely one of those "woman"'s behaviour) but now that I think of it... you said that "this kind of thing doesn't happen to people", well it might be true...
(ok it's late I am tired so my english is so so :p)
The more I think about it, the more I remember occurences that fit that pattern...
Last year I dated for a week a girl from Paris, she was totally into me, until one day she called me so we might have fun etc... when I arrived at the bar, she stared at me, then she ignored me... I was WTF... she blocked me on MSN without any explanation the day after.
My dating life has never been anything else than that.
Sometimes I wondered if that might be happening here too; for instance where I worked but it seems to have settled down now.
People are always doing this to me. It makes no difference if you ask them to explain what you did wrong. Usually they are so pissed off and don't want to be friends anymore there is nothing you can do to make up for it. They are sometimes just intolerant to lack of empathy. I would always get accused of not being empathic enough, saying or doing the wrong thing and mostly stuff I could not help knowing I did wrong. Even these people I thought I gave them nice presents and did many things for them but they did not always appreciate them.
Just move on. It hurts.
People are always doing this to me. It makes no difference if you ask them to explain what you did wrong. Usually they are so pissed off and don't want to be friends anymore there is nothing you can do to make up for it. They are sometimes just intolerant to lack of empathy. I would always get accused of not being empathic enough, saying or doing the wrong thing and mostly stuff I could not help knowing I did wrong. Even these people I thought I gave them nice presents and did many things for them but they did not always appreciate them.
Just move on. It hurts.
But by acting like that, they are showing a severe lack of empathy themselves so they are the ones with the problem most of the time.
It happens to me all the time.
I would always get accused of not being empathic enough, saying or doing the wrong thing and mostly stuff I could not help knowing I did wrong.
That is so true, and sad that we're all connected by these sad things.
Though, on the other hand, I know it seems to take me two months to know if someone is a good friend or not. But by the time I've realized that person isn't really a good friend the other person thinks that we're best buds... So admittedly discussing someone elses merits and demerits and why I'm not their friend anymore isn't an easy conversation for anyone... But I've never outright blocked someone completely out of my life. Now I probably sound like a jerk. 
It has happened to me throughout the 25 years that have gone by since I made my first friends at age 17. When I'd started to distance myself from a person it has often been because that person has hinted in some way they've been about to move away; my reaction is then to condition myself to that risk and get used to it beforehand. It's the only coping strategy I have in these situations. When it have happened that someone has moved away I've been extremely reluctant to maintain the relationship in any type way - my only wish is that they move back and go back to whatever life they had then. The same happens everytime something changes whether it is two friends that I've gotten to know as a couple breaks up or if it's one friend that gets a new gf/bf and it's somebody I don't know.
The feeling I get from these things is that of shock; I hurt, physically speaking. I go still inside out; show no emotion... and it's so obvious were it comes from... It's almost funny that I've never made this connection before; ... all families are somewhat dysfunctive but I think my family was (and still is) one of the most dysfunctional that I've ever come across IRL. The inability to share joy, to show joy, to respect personal boundaries, ruling by installing fear of rejection, to gloat in failure, hurt or weakness, to ignore your kids, to show kindness to other children in giving away things in a manner that's uncalled for, to destroy your kids property, throw things away and forbid you to save it, to give mixed messages, to belittle your kids in front of others, to refuse them the right to defend themselves...
The worst dysfunction is the one that doesn't show itself in the open; my folks were non-emotional people, they didn't use corporal punishment, they almost never drank alcohol, mum stayed home, dad never took sick-leave from work, we lived in the country side in a big old house, plenty of space inside and outside, there were no set rules save bed time at 9pm and once we sat down at the tv and had the late meal we weren't allowed to leave and go out again, we watched what was on the tv from very early on. I remember asking what they were saying when it wasn't in Swedish.
Back on topic. I've had friends that suddenly just started to ignore me. Stop coming by or not allowing me to visit with them. They've given no explanation...
All the feelings that I've bottled up inside is like a huge garbage dump; I think of the chemistry, the chain-reactions taking place inside the wounds, the horror and the rage, smouldering in the chaotic calmness...
Whatever you do, don't weaken if she comes crawling back at some stage.
For the most part, other people are just users.
Just because somebody is being 'friendly', it does not mean they are your friend.
Also, 'poisoning the Well' is a very common tactic and is usually deployed in the dating arena. It is just 'usual behaviour' really and after 43 years, I still haven't learned the rules of the game.
It's happened to me numerous times.
Tim
I do this to other people, but it is not necessary.
One decides that a person or a group of people are a bad influence, and then cuts them off.
It's pathetic, you should give them a reason, unless they really are psycho etc.