Don't worry Sarah...most of us have done something simliar
Ehhh, blatantly obvious survival tips...
1. When meeting someone for the first time don't run away and hide in the toliet.
2. Don't smile at funerals.
3. Don't talk to yourself when others are present.
4. Try not to stare out the wondow at falling leafs, when someone's trying to have a serious conversation with you.
5. Don't talk for any longer than an hour without letting someone else speak.
Before discovering I was a aspie I went through a huge number of self help books. I found I became more and more neurotic (yes even more neurotic than I am now lol
) I think self help books are not really that helpful and can often prey on people’s fear and insecurities.
How to stop - Religious Conflict
1) Tell everyone to convert to YOUR religion
2) Kill everyone who refuses
Clever
How to win friends and influence people.
Get a complete personality bypass.
Oops, I left out a line - I meant.
Stop social awkwardness.
(1)How to win friends and influence people.
(2)Get a complete personality bypass.
How to stop being Ian Moore.
1.) chop off your balls.
2.) rip out ya spine.
3.) start listening to rap.
4.) give up freedom to do what you want.
More How To Get A Girlfriend.
(1) Frequently belch and pass wind in her presence
(2) Blame it on her
(3) Seldom bathe and never wash your hair
(4) Make an art of nose picking
(5) Always insult her mother, her sister/s and her friend/s
(6) Moan to everybody you know about how "picky" women are and how none of them ever appreciate you.
(7) Repeat steps 1-6 until you have a wide circle of friends ie. no-one wants to be get any closer than 10 metres to you.
More How To Get A Girlfriend.
(1) Frequently belch and pass wind in her presence
(2) Blame it on her
(3) Seldom bathe and never wash your hair
(4) Make an art of nose picking
(5) Always insult her mother, her sister/s and her friend/s
(6) Moan to everybody you know about how "picky" women are and how none of them ever appreciate you.
(7) Repeat steps 1-6 until you have a wide circle of friends ie. no-one wants to be get any closer than 10 metres to you.
Well, now here's a post that really aggravates the hell out of my OCD problem with vulgarity (and specific words/phrases)--now I wish I hadn't read it. My teeth are starting to grate.
Oh, I'm sorry - I didn't mean it to upset but I have met people like this and that's why I said it. Sorry again.
More How To Get A Girlfriend.
(7) Repeat steps 1-6 until you have a wide circle of friends ie. no-one wants to be get any closer than 10 metres to you.
I LOVE this joke! Puns rule! 
How to stop clapping....remove one arm
1) How to become popular by being the real you:
Make the real you into a clone of everybody else.
2) How to cure intolerance of people different from you:
Kill everybody who's different from you.
3) How to become a Rocket Scientist:
Change your name to "Rocket Scientist"
4) How to fit in:
Withold any opinion you think the others would disagree with.
5) How to relieve yourself of responsibility when #4 results in horrible injustice:
Wait until everybody else says how wrong the injustice was, then repeat #4
Oh, that's a classic and one I've heard so many times too!
For women: how to get a boyfriend.
Get a prefrontal lobotomy and a new wardrobe.
Ouch! Us men are really that bad?
No it reminds me of that terrible sexist joke.
"What do you do if you find a decent woman?"
Shoot her before she goes bad.
Kind of just very sexist this joke.
Haha, I like this thread, sums up well what many of us have been said
I won't be original, but oh:
How to learn a boring topic for school:
sit on your ass, read and memorize it. You've got great memory but are just lazy! 
What’s the quickest way to learn French…?
Be born in France.
How to lose weight:
Buy my new diet book, available only in the UK. You'll lose pounds that you'll never see again!
And I'll gain them....
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