Aspies For Freedom

You seem so unhappy. I wish there were some way of convincing you that you are a really good person. May I try?

There are a lot of us who would really miss you if you left.

The threads you post to are improved by your posts.

You make us think.

You stand up for people who are being bullied.

You are the brightest of us when it comes to 'cutting through the crap'!

There you go, and over to you - Do you find memorized conversations useful, or do you have other techniques? And if you do use standard conversations, what sort of tricks do you have?

In the NT case, the social message "I identify with political party x" is the message with the most weight, and the actual content is a side issue. As a result, the response will often be an attack on the party represented, with the debated points only given a minor mention - for example, they might say "All you tree huggers/right wing nutters say that, but any idiot could see it's not true".

Of course, both these problems would be eliminated if we switched over to a dictatorship ruled by me. I shall have to suggest it...

Or even better, a joust! Does anyone on the site have two spare sets of armour and a tent? *grins*

My hubby has the best Aspie job - IT - so, if we feel like socialising with other Aspies, we invite his colleagues to a barbecue!

Outside of work, the chess clubs we go to are at least 90% autistic - I am guessing here, I've never actually seen an NT at one, but perhaps they are good at 'fitting in'

I used to be into model railways - large numbers of Aspies there, too.

And if we were to hold ASC (Anti-Social Club) meetings at a library...... BLISS! Books, computers and NO TALKING!!!!!!

Well, I found that being a motorcyclist helped me - I met my hubby through motorcycling and most of my long-term friends. Being a biker is eccentric anyway and a female one so much more so that I can really be myself at bike meets! When I left school the only friends I made were through motorcycling - and they were all male for many years.

If you don't have any hobbies or interests that can be shared then I do not have any ideas. Outside of school/college, my sons have met friends through rugby, music, rock-climbing, martial arts, tennis and animé/computer game conventions. My daughter through rugby and horse-riding.

That time travel thing bothered me before... I think it was in Back to the Future.

Rant for 01/12/07 - Groups and boxes

I'm sure anyone here that's read up on Aspergers thought patterns know the about the "theory of mind", and also knows that it has been debunked many times over. So far though, I haven't seen any new theories to explain what thought processes explain the appearance of "lack of theory of mind", except the occasional mention that misunderstanding goes both ways.

So I thought I'd throw my hat into the ring.

As I see it, NT's and Autistics have two separate methods of working out how to deal with a new person. The NT's work with a method I call "generalising and categorising", whereas Autistics work with a method I call the "black box" method. Both methods have different strengths and weaknesses.



The NT method, "generalising and categorising", involves learning general rules for how to treat a "person". These rules include appropriate behavior, what they think the person is likely to be thinking in various situations, etc.  

Obviously one set of rules will not work for every single person, so when these rules fail, they will invent a new category for the type of person that the rules failed for - for instance, if the rules failed for one or more women, then a new set of rules will be created for "women", leaving the original set as rules for "men". This categorisation then splits into smaller and smaller categories. So knowing how to treat someone, or guessing what they are thinking, involves working out which category they belong to and using the set of rules for that category.

Of course, there will be some information specific to individual people, but for the most part, the category holds the most influence.

The advantage of this method is that it's very easy to work out how to treat a new person. The disadvantage is that the information will not usually be entirely accurate, and it can often take a lot of effort to work out that a person does not fit the "usual" rules.



The Autistic method, or the "black box" method, means that when meeting a new person, you have no information about them at all - to an autistic persons mind, their thought processes are just a big black box with a question mark printed on the front. Certain general responses will probably have been learned (small talk standards, etc), but for the most part an Autistic person will not know how to treat someone new.

After talking to or observing the new person, any facts are added to a "file" about that person in particular - likes, dislikes, which behaviours get which responses, etc. This information can is used as specific information about the new person and no-one else, and it can also be used as "general possible" information - as in "it is possible that other new people may also exhibit this trait. I shall have to observe, experiment, and find out".

Of course, some information may be used as vague category generalisations, but for the most part, information holds the most influence.

The advantage of this method is that the it produces more accurate information about a person over a long period of time, and that Autistics are less swayed by stereotypes. The disadvantage is that when meeting a new person, the Autistic person will have a very limited idea of how to act around them.


Ultimately, the best method would be a combination of the two - use generalisations, but make sure that actual information is given higher regard than the generalisations. This would give the advantages of both methods, without the disadvantages of either. But while this is possible to an extent, without careful monitoring the "natural" method will usually kick back in - Autistics will try to overanalyse or second-guess the "rough approximation" categories they've created, and NT's will find it hard to accept information about a person that goes against the information for a group that person belongs to.

So there you have it. Any thoughts?