Aspies For Freedom

Evil Zakkie I like your thread idea. On this subject. I am not overly self-reflective in many ways. I kind of know myself and explain myself to people only as an aid o them rather than me. I think "I yam what I yam" (as Popeye used to say)
I do not understand social conventions or cues and how people seem to glide through life oblivious of these difficulties is something I am both admirable and envious of.
At the end of the day though we are what we are. Life is full of much to learn. The trick as always is to know what is helpful, relevant, insightful or useful and what is "just what it is".

I just noticed this rant and it does tie itself intrinsically with other current threads.
Before anyone starts to set their moral barometers in the fight for autistic rights, acceptance or duty as autistics I would like to point say my bit.
I am autistic. I am diagnosed. I deal with the every day effects of autism as an autistic. I live in a world that is populated almost exclusively with non-autistics.
What is my consideration or duty as an autistic?
My duty to me first and foremost is to manage and cope in my everyday life. Some aspects of my life will be more difficult than others around me but I do not believe this is to be considered, nor should be considered by others.
Life is difficult as is meant to be. I think anyone who says differently is misrepresenting life.

I am autistic but this is not the be all and end all of my self-identification. I am autistic. I am a man. I am middle-aged. I am divorced. I am a father. I am a Canberrian. I am a flatmate. I am a call centre operator. I am an ex-Western Australian. I am different things to different people. Grumpy, honest, tough, friendly, shy, funny, odd, dedicated and other traits. These things equally define me as different.

I do worry when I see us and them mentality. I do worry when I hear autism elitism. I worry when I see "I love my autism" statements. I worry when I see non-autistics pushed out of autistic subjects. I worry too when I see a weight of expectation that "we" have a "duty" to expose our autism to the world.
I say don't be the best autistic you can be but the best person you can be. Don't tell people you don't want to tell.

As much as we like to imagine that everyone in the world knows enough about autism to be either useful or dangerous to us, the fact is at 1 in 166, the impact of less than 1% of the population on the other 99% is not likely to be that great and MOST people would not have the slightest idea what autism is.

So....Our collective duty may be that if we protect, support, nature and educate each other we will be stronger and more self-confident in a world that can really test us and our ineptitudes. It might mean that collectively we can attack misinformation and negative propaganda.

Some of us can even further autistic causes through education through formal talks and academic research and setting up forums like this. I think this ought not be considered as a right of passage though.

I like to think that my day to day behaviour and interactions coupled with coming out to a select minority will have far  more implications than the talks I have done or the academic interviews I have had. Why? Because at different times in their life those people I have told who were ignorant of autism will no doubt have opportunity to mention about a bloke they know or used to know called Rossco and the things they will say will be positive. It will have a roll on effect.

It doesn't sound that pro-active, but tell me what would be being risked by doing otherwise? Become militant - you get denounced. Scream "Poor me" - you get pitied and devalued. Expose yourself to all and sundry - you get further isolated. Segregate yourself and you lose societal benefits.
If you can fit in best can and don't ask for any quarter, If you are prepared to struggle through life regardless, If you can be accepting and supporting of others, then people are likely to respect you regardless of your condition and this will positively influence their personal view of what autism means to them.

Anyhow this is my opinion for what it is worth.

Rossco & WFM--what you’re saying makes a lot of sense to me.

I’ve also spent most of my life ’fitting in regardless’--but began to feel sorry for myself recently. Now I understand it’s the struggle that’s important…having the heart to carry in spite of difficulty…to endure...to overcome.

Thank you--what you’ve written helped me a lot.

Good point Pakrat...
Although we always do our utmost to meet the challenges the world throws at us; there does come a point at which in spite of our "good intentions" things become overwhelming and we do need our friends.

More important than the technical and scientific information on the forum, is the friendship and support we give each other. This is the stuff which allows us to be resilient; it’s where we draw our strength.

Yup I have always found this so. I am always here for those that need comfort and support and I have a lot of genuine friendship towards many of you here. Just don't go around telling anyone I am a bit of a softie at heart. Would do nothing for my grumpy, arrogant, opinionated, hostile and cantankerous image.

No idea Bella. At what point a person become a good friend, best friend, lifelong mate, or girlfriend or whatever. No-one rings a bell to announce these passages and no-one tells us what the level of familiarity now allows.
Mind you I met Annemarie (my ex) through a friend. We all used to go out together sometimes. The mutual friend left to go to live in QLD. I ask for her number and told her I did not want to not see her anymore.
Mind you apart from proposing to her she basically helped me through every transition of things.
And why not. I am completely out of my depth on these matters. Partners do support each other

Photos necessary....definitely need photos...Lol

I bont time to see and cuddle my children and be a Dad again.

Eight month goal soon to be realised mate. Court in Early December
Then let the healing begin.

Thanks mate. I do appreciate it. They are pretty good kids and have a lot of love so my bonting will heal the rift with them in time. I am a pretty good Dad.

Damn there are some smart people here. This is one thing I love about this place

*** how did that happen? Please ignore top quote it has no context here.

Fascinating subject…

I really love the Autism-Neanderthal theory and desperately want to believe it. As you say Neanderthal weren’t unintelligent or brutish--and of course the genes for As/Autism do have to come from somewhere.

But regretfully most genetic and archaeological research in this area seems to suggest ‘modern humans’ are significantly different from Neanderthals; and its unlikely that they interbred.  

“The genes for red hair, freckled skin and short stature“ most likely developed independently of Neanderthal influence; and are adaptations to living in a cooler climate.

I really wish this theory were true…but there is no convincing evidence that it is…at least not yet.

Yeah, its good isn't it.

Thanks EZ this is probably very helpful. I do very badly a body language but have 37 years of experience of dealing with people to not be so obvious at being terrible. I fake it basically. I think I need encyclopedia, instructional dvds and a course in it it to become proficient.
I don't think I am particularly subtle (I think most people here would agree - good or bad) but I do admire tact and diplomacy and mate I think you for one have it in bags.