Aspies For Freedom

I am looking for ways to smooth the relations between my 3-and-a-half-year-old Aspie son and his 1-year-old baby sister.  She idolizes him, and wants to be wherever he is, and playing with whatever he is playing with ALL of the time.  As you might imagine, this leads to quite a few episodes of upset on both of their parts every day.  Does anyone have any ideas?
Thanks!
Jodie

Uh oh! I well remember THAT stage! Those few months seem to last a lifetime, don't they?

At one, your daughter will see an object that is being played with as MUCH more interesting than one just lying there. The only way I could both amuse the baby and protect the others' play time was to do something even more interesting with something that wasn't being played with by someone else.

That way, the baby and I got quality time, and the toddlers got toys to themselves. I could talk to both while amusing the baby. So the chores got delayed - so what? They didn't get done if I was sorting out disputes, either! At least this way everyone is happy. And my five kids all grew up to like each other.

Tigger, again, you rock! (Kind of a bizarre complement, isn't it, I guess I should just say that I appreciate your advice and will be trying the tactic at home!)  Thank you for the suggestion, and for all of the suggestions and great ideas I see you offering everyone on this site.    Jodie

Oh yes, when "the baby" starts walking, talking and stealing things! That is the WORST. I have always thought that is the worst transition for the oldest. Getting used to the baby in the first place is hard, but when the baby starts actively seeking his stuff and his space. That's when it starts getting hairy!

Mine are now three and five and generally good siblings. Of course, neither or them are diagnosed, but I don't see this problem so much as neuro-wiring as much as two siblings learning to deal with each other.

Actually, we still have a very similar situation at home: number one comes home from school and is "full" and needs to decompress for a while. Number two is SO happy to have someone to play with (because I am SO fun, apparently...) that they practically bomard each other. We've had to devise a bit of a system so that number one can get back "on track" and number two can have a happy sister to play with, rather than a grumpy one, albeit later than she would like.

My thinking would be to try to match up your sons active/playful times and your daughters I-love-my-bro (and his stuff) times as much as possible. The more chance they have a successful sibling time the easier it will be to foster a supportive relationship, IMO.  And, as Tigger suggested, distracting the baby is always a favorite option while the big brother adjusts to this radical new situation...  

Good Luck!