10-21-2007, 06:33 PM
Behind invisible disorder, there’s a brilliant boy
Quote:
Behind invisible disorder, there’s a brilliant boy
By Joel Jacobson GREAT KIDS
Sun. Oct 21 - 5:28 AM
JOAN AND ROB McInnes were constantly feeling guilty.
Their son Ben was acting out, creating disturbances, at times screaming uncontrollably, often in public. They would have to hustle him away from people and they worked hard to calm him.
At that time, doctors told the Prospect Bay couple they weren’t doing enough as parents. They said Ben was unruly, that he was a "high-maintenance" child.
Then, at age five, he was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, one of many forms of autism. With medication, he has coped.
With support from family, friends and teachers, Joan and Rob have coped.
There is no definitive cause or cure. However, with proper support people living with autism can lead full and productive lives. Ben, now nine, still has tantrums, acts impulsively, has anger issues and is challenged to learn in certain areas. Yet in other aspects, Ben shows brilliance and, says his mother, more compassion than many other children his age.
The Grade 4 student at Atlantic Memorial Terence Bay School usually finishes his work ahead of the other students.
"My favourite subject is lunch," he says with a laugh. "Actually, math and social studies (geography) are my favourites."
Ben has a full-time teacher assistant "to help me with things I can’t do, things I haven’t done before and to understand the instructions the class is given."
What makes sense to Ben is often confusing to others, and vice versa. He tries to communicate but is often misunderstood. People with autism struggle to fit in while trying to relate to people who experience the world in a different way.
Autism is the most widely diagnosed neurological disorder in Canada. It’s estimated that one in every 166 children born today will have it. No two people are affected the same way. Common issues are communication, socializing and interactions.
When Ben was one year old, Joan says, he would tell her what route to drive to get to Point Pleasant Park from their former home in Armdale. When he was 18 months old, he knew the entire alphabet. At 2½, he knew the flags, and most of the capital cities, of 45 countries.
Ben plays hockey and soccer, took up sailing last summer and is joining a basketball team this season. He has many friends, yet it is in friendships that signs of Asperger’s show up.
"It’s tough to make friends because they don’t see the world as I do," Ben says. "I like to do things the way I know, and it’s hard to adjust to other people’s ways.
"I play well alone and also do OK in groups, which I prefer. But on a bad day, I like to be alone. I get frustrated very easily and get angry and act out."
He’s reluctant to show them to anyone, but Ben, fascinated with maps and roads, talks about the car roads he has built on cardboard in his room. His dad says with a chuckle, "Maybe someday Ben will solve Halifax’s problems."
Joan and Rob are big fans of the Provincial Autism Centre, a charitable organization founded in 2002 to help parents, professionals and others find the information and services needed to support people living with autism. It relies solely on donations.
Three years ago, Rob, now a member of the centre’s board, started the Autism Golf Ball as a fundraiser for the centre. The social event, held Saturday night, has raised $250,000 but, as importantly, has created awareness of autism.
Joan, with a background in early childhood education, says the centre has helped her with resource material. However, much of what she and Rob learn, and what Ben discovers about himself, comes from experience.
The morning of this interview, Joan is vacuuming and Ben rushes to his room, screaming, and slammed the door. The loud noise bothers him, an aspect of autism. Joan shuts the machine down and plans to vacuum when Ben is out of the house.
"It’s all been a learning curve for us," she says. "The school has been wonderful, open to our suggestions and helpful with us. They go above and beyond. The frustration is there’s no predictability with Ben, from one day to the next, one moment to the next."
Ben nods. "I can sense when I’m losing my temper, but I can’t control it and calm down."
Joan says Ben, like many children with autism, has intensely extreme emotions, from negative to exceptionally tender.
"Ben is excellent with younger children," she says as Ben wrestles on the floor with brother Will, 8, and warmly greets sister Callie, 4, arriving home with a fresh haircut. "It’s his peers where there’s difficulty. They don’t understand his needs."
Joan wants people to think twice when they see a child acting out in public, "not to assume the parent isn’t doing a proper job or the child is undisciplined."
"It’s easy to be sympathetic to children with obvious needs, but Ben has an invisible disability."
Will understands Ben’s problem, too, but praises him for another of his many talents.
"He makes pancakes to die for," Will says of his older sibling.
By Joel Jacobson GREAT KIDS
Sun. Oct 21 - 5:28 AM
JOAN AND ROB McInnes were constantly feeling guilty.
Their son Ben was acting out, creating disturbances, at times screaming uncontrollably, often in public. They would have to hustle him away from people and they worked hard to calm him.
At that time, doctors told the Prospect Bay couple they weren’t doing enough as parents. They said Ben was unruly, that he was a "high-maintenance" child.
Then, at age five, he was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, one of many forms of autism. With medication, he has coped.
With support from family, friends and teachers, Joan and Rob have coped.
There is no definitive cause or cure. However, with proper support people living with autism can lead full and productive lives. Ben, now nine, still has tantrums, acts impulsively, has anger issues and is challenged to learn in certain areas. Yet in other aspects, Ben shows brilliance and, says his mother, more compassion than many other children his age.
The Grade 4 student at Atlantic Memorial Terence Bay School usually finishes his work ahead of the other students.
"My favourite subject is lunch," he says with a laugh. "Actually, math and social studies (geography) are my favourites."
Ben has a full-time teacher assistant "to help me with things I can’t do, things I haven’t done before and to understand the instructions the class is given."
What makes sense to Ben is often confusing to others, and vice versa. He tries to communicate but is often misunderstood. People with autism struggle to fit in while trying to relate to people who experience the world in a different way.
Autism is the most widely diagnosed neurological disorder in Canada. It’s estimated that one in every 166 children born today will have it. No two people are affected the same way. Common issues are communication, socializing and interactions.
When Ben was one year old, Joan says, he would tell her what route to drive to get to Point Pleasant Park from their former home in Armdale. When he was 18 months old, he knew the entire alphabet. At 2½, he knew the flags, and most of the capital cities, of 45 countries.
Ben plays hockey and soccer, took up sailing last summer and is joining a basketball team this season. He has many friends, yet it is in friendships that signs of Asperger’s show up.
"It’s tough to make friends because they don’t see the world as I do," Ben says. "I like to do things the way I know, and it’s hard to adjust to other people’s ways.
"I play well alone and also do OK in groups, which I prefer. But on a bad day, I like to be alone. I get frustrated very easily and get angry and act out."
He’s reluctant to show them to anyone, but Ben, fascinated with maps and roads, talks about the car roads he has built on cardboard in his room. His dad says with a chuckle, "Maybe someday Ben will solve Halifax’s problems."
Joan and Rob are big fans of the Provincial Autism Centre, a charitable organization founded in 2002 to help parents, professionals and others find the information and services needed to support people living with autism. It relies solely on donations.
Three years ago, Rob, now a member of the centre’s board, started the Autism Golf Ball as a fundraiser for the centre. The social event, held Saturday night, has raised $250,000 but, as importantly, has created awareness of autism.
Joan, with a background in early childhood education, says the centre has helped her with resource material. However, much of what she and Rob learn, and what Ben discovers about himself, comes from experience.
The morning of this interview, Joan is vacuuming and Ben rushes to his room, screaming, and slammed the door. The loud noise bothers him, an aspect of autism. Joan shuts the machine down and plans to vacuum when Ben is out of the house.
"It’s all been a learning curve for us," she says. "The school has been wonderful, open to our suggestions and helpful with us. They go above and beyond. The frustration is there’s no predictability with Ben, from one day to the next, one moment to the next."
Ben nods. "I can sense when I’m losing my temper, but I can’t control it and calm down."
Joan says Ben, like many children with autism, has intensely extreme emotions, from negative to exceptionally tender.
"Ben is excellent with younger children," she says as Ben wrestles on the floor with brother Will, 8, and warmly greets sister Callie, 4, arriving home with a fresh haircut. "It’s his peers where there’s difficulty. They don’t understand his needs."
Joan wants people to think twice when they see a child acting out in public, "not to assume the parent isn’t doing a proper job or the child is undisciplined."
"It’s easy to be sympathetic to children with obvious needs, but Ben has an invisible disability."
Will understands Ben’s problem, too, but praises him for another of his many talents.
"He makes pancakes to die for," Will says of his older sibling.