... alternative (unproven) autism treatments that is.
I come to think of one striking similarity between some well-known autism alternative treatments which I hadn't thought of before.
That is that they aren't just supposed to make autistic people more functional, but more importantly, they are supposed to make them more "normal".
Why does autistic people need to become more "normal" to be more functional?
"Good = Normal"
Sure, it would be great if there was a thing that helped autisic people in their daily living, even though it didn't make them normal.
Exactly why is that people assume that autistic people need to become "normal" to become better?
... alternative (unproven) autism treatments that is.
........
.......
Exactly why is that people assume that autistic people need to become "normal" to become better?
I really think that it is because
a) They think that they are the best, and
b) They cannot imagine what it is like to be autistic, so
c) They think that we are suffering from a lack of something that would make us 'like them'
They fail to see that we would be happy as we are - IF they didn't keep trying to make us more like them!
(The sad story of minority groups throughout history, I'm afraid.)
Exactly why is that people assume that autistic people need to become "normal" to become better?
I was thinking about something similar to this on the way home from work today. What I came up with is that there's two different types of parenting - the "concern" modal, and the "caring" modal.
"Concerned" parents have a vision of the person they want their child to become, and whenever something happens to threaten this idea, they react with "concern", and try to destroy the threat - in this case, by attempting to literally attempting to make their child into a different person.
A "Caring" parent, on the other hand, wants their child to be happy, without any particular vision of what form that happiness will take. They'll listen to what their children want, and try their best to help their children achieve their goals.
I think that the reason that the idea of a cure is so popular is that concern is the much easier option. Unfortunately, many parents these days are concerned about their children, and, by this definition, don't really care much about them.
Exactly why is that people assume that autistic people need to become "normal" to become better?
I was thinking about something similar to this on the way home from work today. What I came up with is that there's two different types of parenting - the "concern" modal, and the "caring" modal.
"Concerned" parents have a vision of the person they want their child to become, and whenever something happens to threaten this idea, they react with "concern", and try to destroy the threat - in this case, by attempting to literally attempting to make their child into a different person.
A "Caring" parent, on the other hand, wants their child to be happy, without any particular vision of what form that happiness will take. They'll listen to what their children want, and try their best to help their children achieve their goals.
I think that the reason that the idea of a cure is so popular is that concern is the much easier option. Unfortunately, many parents these days are concerned about their children, and, by this definition, don't really care much about them.
Very perceptive.
Now I know what to say to people when they ask me whether I'm concerned about my son's school attendence "Of course I'm not concerned - I care more for his happiness".
I think......
Tigger, that sounds like a question that deserves a "What do you mean by that exactly?" response. Those kind of questions are like coded bombs in my experience. Better to let the inquirer defuse the bomb him/herself.
Erkolos, all people do not try to make everyone else match their vision of "normal." It is important, though, that behaviors are not perceived as threatening by those around. A lot of people live their lives in fear, and the 6-foot aspie with a flair for the dramatic may be perceived as a very dangerous person. Millions of years of evolution will not be undone in a generation.
Erkolos, all people do not try to make everyone else match their vision of "normal." It is important, though, that behaviors are not perceived as threatening by those around. A lot of people live their lives in fear, and the 6-foot aspie with a flair for the dramatic may be perceived as a very dangerous person. Millions of years of evolution will not be undone in a generation.
Yeah, it kind of hit me just after I posted this thread.
Still, isn't the description of improvement from parents who have claimed an alternative treatment improved their child's condition very similar and often focus on traits of autism that are not necessarily common. I can imagine that it is those traits that the parent associate with autism.
What do you think of this mother who have tried the foot detox alternative autism treatment?
Ok, NT perspective here, but I hope it sheds some insight into our thinking -
I'm trying to think of a different way to explain it so it is not quite so offensive to you...so you might understand where the thought comes from. For parents, I do not think it is an issue of superiority, but rather one of vulnerability.
If you think of the "norm" as camouflage, what is the "norm" is often more functional for survival purposes as it blends in better with the background. My head is playing a war picture in my mind right now, with a question of who do you think is more likely to get shot with sniper fire, Grizeldatee's character, 6 foot tall and with dramatic flair, or the guy who is hunkered down and blends in with the rest of the masses.
Most parents are worried about the sniper fire from other kids and society as whole. A simple read of some of the forum posts will tell you it is a valid concern. Many of you have been hurt deeply because of your differences.
There are times when different is decidely better... and there are times when it is not.
Autism is a bit like having an albino in the herd. Our kids stick out, their differences are often blatantly obvious, and that makes them vulnerable to predators. No parent likes to see their child vulnerable to being hurt. That will not change.
I don't think the "concerned" parent is necessarily any less caring than the "caring" one (see EvilZakkie's definition) , just more protective.
If you change the environment, societal views, then the need for camouflage diminishes and the "norm" will not be so important... or maybe it will just be expanded to include us all.
Mom
Thank you, hrick's mom, for being brave enough to explain your views. No offence taken. We often mis-interpret the intentions of others (well, duh......) and can tie ourselves in knots attempting to apply Aspie logic to something which means something else entirely.
I know we need a balance here, but I think that in the long-term it is in no-one's interest that we remain invisible. Society has NEVER changed its views of any minority without that minority standing up and complaining about being made to fit in.
So...
The idea of patience and respect being the solution to the main problems autistic people face might not be that far-fetched after all?
Or is it still the mind that need to be adjusted to society?
... maybe a mix of the two.
What parents shouldn't give up on, is to learn their autistic children basic (usefull that is) mannerism. Even if they aren't to all behave like something they aint.
Most parents are worried about the sniper fire from other kids and society as whole. A simple read of some of the forum posts will tell you it is a valid concern. Many of you have been hurt deeply because of your differences.
There are times when different is decidely better... and there are times when it is not.
Autism is a bit like having an albino in the herd. Our kids stick out, their differences are often blatantly obvious, and that makes them vulnerable to predators. No parent likes to see their child vulnerable to being hurt. That will not change.
I don't think the "concerned" parent is necessarily any less caring than the "caring" one (see EvilZakkie's definition) , just more protective.
Thanks for this perspective - I think it's entirely reasonable for a parent to worry about their child, especially a child with autism.
To clarify, the type of parents I'm talking about in the "concerned parent" category do more than just worry about their child - they actually try to destroy the source of the worry, and often do this against their child's wishes.
A caring parent will still worry about what might happen to their child, but will also listen to their child, and take the things they want into account.
Umm...
It is still abit provoking, try better!
... maybe a mix of the two.
What parents shouldn't give up on, is to learn their autistic children basic (usefull that is) mannerism. Even if they aren't to all behave like something they aint.
Teach, not learn. It's abit confusing because in norwegian "lære" means both.
"Teach, not learn. It's abit confusing because in norwegian "lære" means both. "
I love the perspective/ philosophy behind that... the recognition that the two are really one, each intrinsic to the other. Very cool.
Mom
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