Aspies For Freedom - america's next top model

EvilZakkie Wrote:

Victor13d Wrote:

Is this really the represenation we need

Well, yes.

The fact that modeling isn't a personal interest of many Aspies is largely irrelevant. She's a likeable person in a high profile TV show, succeeding in what would normally be a very NT-oriented field. She's openly Aspie, acknowledges but doesn't dwell on her weaknesses, and knows how to use her strengths. She's also interesting in interviews, quite intelligent, and goes for the things she wants regardless of hardships.

All in all, she's exactly the sort of representation we need.

Not to be so cynical, but I have to express the opinion that her model-esque looks have probably done a lot of work for her throughout her days, on their own.

Eccentric/unusual females who are also very attractive, can often get away with it.

sarahjoke Wrote:

True, she wouldn't be accepted into a television show geared for being the next top model if she wasn't pretty enough to be a model...��but it seems that now we've switched gears from autism rights to feminst rights.

Admittedly, there's nothing truly pleasing about this show, in my opinion, except that it shows a *real live* aspie in a non-stereotypical way. (AKA- She's not counting toothpicks or rocking back in forth in a corner...)��In my opinion, that is the girth of its importance to autistic people...��showing a reality of autism that can inspire other auties.

"I do not have to limit myself to computer coding or other *aspie* jobs and interests. I can be who I want to be and push myself as far as I can go and with supportive people around me I can be a fantastic _________."

IMO- worth more than a million non-hot aspies doing whatever they're doing and not being on TV.

Yes, but my point was that her looks have probably done a lot of work for her besides just helping her get onto America's Next Top Model. (Attractive women can be "unusual" easier than unattractive women, basically.) And I stand by it, even in light of your witty deconstruction of my argument.

As for being encouraging to other Aspies and so on, of course I agree. But I can't see one point without the other. Hot women basically can feel entitled, because they are.

sarahjoke Wrote:

But I think I see your point... her getting on the show has nothing to do with her aspie-ness really... but her staying on the show and managing the melo-drama that life on a reality show entails will certainly have a lot to do with her AS...��just another though. Smile

Precisely where my thoughts were leading Smile

energeia Wrote:

Last night I posted on livejournal my adventure in finding out what this thread was about--someone commented that Heather seemed like about the most normal person in the bunch.��She asked if this is what aspies are like.��I just commented back that aspies are each themselves--it's not obvious that there's a common gestalt, but that someone who knows what to look for can often pick them out.��Heather has likely done tons of work on herself.

I always thought doing lots of work on yourself can help to erase obvious signs of Asperger's, and I recommend that all who are reading along should do this.

The more work you do on yourself, the less your Asperger's shows. All the better!

I must say, though, that Jenah is one hell of an arrogant biOtch.

violet_yoshi Wrote:

So you're saying people should work more to show theire Asperger's less. So they can seem like they were "cured"?

I will admit that there was a "dash" of sarcasm in the post in question, and I tend to believe that omitting a disclaimer at the end (like "sarcasm above") makes for a more effective statement, overall.

It can be confusing though, which is a problem.

woman from mars Wrote:

Some of us are intellectual some are practical, this doesn't mean that we can't have a common aim....to be accepted for what we are.
Above all, we are all human. I also wish her well in her chosen career.

RE: the bolded print... and some of us are neither.

EvilZakkie Wrote:

True, but not "showing traits" isn't the same thing as not having Aspergers anymore - it just means that they've found coping mechanisms for various situations.

For example, I can imagine you've probably memorised a few standard social responses to standard social questions by now. This doesn't mean that you've been "cured" of social issues.

Agreed--just because I don't show a lot of the traits in public, doesn't mean I don't have them. Instead, I am "running systems" in my head to emulate correct behavior, and by now (at age 26) they work well enough that generally you couldn't tell it's not my natural behavior.

The fact that I am camouflaged as semi-NT much of the time, really does not mean I lack the traits, though. Running all these systems in my head and acting in ways that aren't always desirable, take its toll on a person, and can be very exhausting esp. in more socially stimulating environments.

Heather: Umm... Yeah. Make sure that you keep don't keep a losing mentality. It's very easy for those with Asperger's to be... or see something and be really like stuck on it. Either it's going to go good or go bad. and be really stuck on it. and just not think that you know, its going to be positive no matter what. Another thing is it really does help to practice your speech in front of a mirror and to you know. It also helps to really force yourself to put yourself in social situations. Because shunning away... I mean, I know it's hard to get into social situations but shunning is just not going to help. It's better to just bite the bullet and go through it than not doing it at all and not changing.

I don't agree with this advice, because I don't believe in "forcing" anything. Just to put this out there.

Luai_lashire Wrote:

Batman55 Wrote:

Heather: Umm... Yeah. Make sure that you keep don't keep a losing mentality. It's very easy for those with Asperger's to be... or see something and be really like stuck on it. Either it's going to go good or go bad. and be really stuck on it. and just not think that you know, its going to be positive no matter what. Another thing is it really does help to practice your speech in front of a mirror and to you know. It also helps to really force yourself to put yourself in social situations. Because shunning away... I mean, I know it's hard to get into social situations but shunning is just not going to help. It's better to just bite the bullet and go through it than not doing it at all and not changing.

I don't agree with this advice, because I don't believe in "forcing" anything.��Just to put this out there.

Batman, I think what she means by saying that is that you have to face your fears.��If you get into social situations, yeah, it might be hard, frightnening, and even painful (b/c people might tease or bully you), but it's good because it will help you learn to get better and better at it in the long run.��Maybe she didn't use perfect wording, but I do think that's what she meant, and I think she's right- that's why a lot of parents put their aspie kids in social skills classes, because it does help.��No, it won't make them "normal" (nor should it!) but it will help them to communicate better and make friends more easily, which in my book is always a good thing.

I think you must have a different book than mine, in that case.

Fruitcake Wrote:

Anxiety including social anxiety can lead to avoidance behaviour which works in the short term for dealing with the anxiety but in the long run it does not work and could lead agrophobia or a loss of social skills, I go by a general thing of no avoidance behaviour but when it comes to socialising it can be hard if people avoid me, so I go to adult social groups for ASD's and to the mental health social group.��If I dont feel like going because of my anxiety/depression I usually force myself the cycle ride lifts me and the being around people relieves my anxiety more often than not I feel a lot better for going than not going.��However I do compensate this with some alone time to recharge but have to careful because I have often taken that too far in that I have not left the flat for days.

It might be a good rule for you, but it isn't for me. I am not trying to "encourage avoidance behavior" but simply saying that some people may be more avoidant than others, and that by itself does not make them "less mature" than those who have allegedly conquered avoidance behavior. That's all I'm trying to say--every AS person has a different journey and anxieties of varying degrees. It may be easier for one AS person to conquer avoidance than others, in some cases.

symbiotic_butterfly Wrote:

woops, I just remembered that I had actually intended to post a slightly off-topic comment that didn't really pertain to heather, I just got on a little rant there, sorry.

I too have found that the best way to be capable of enduring social contact is taking as much alone-time as possible-- Though most people claim to think me a great conversationalist when they first meet me, I can only keep it up for a few hours before becoming drained, then I go home and refuse to leave for days.��The people who think I'm a great conversationalist at first don't realize that for me, conversations are more a way of verbally organizing and testing my ideas, not an actual effort to bond with the other person so we can keep the conversation going.��Though I listen and interact, the conversation is as much about me talking to myself as it is about talking to them.��They always seem bemused when they call back and I show no interest in seeing them again "after we had such an incredible conversation".��What is to them the beginning of a social bond, is to me more like a data-exchange; I have feelings about the data, but to feel any special affection for the data-bank is exhausting and counterproductive for me, a hindrance.

Well said.  I tend to have a problem with the righteousness some Aspies seem to exhibit about "being a proper citizen" and "saving your AS desires, such as set routines around personal interests, for an occasional treat."  So we are to feel guilty about "giving in," now?  Should we live life in the fast lane and just call our "alone time" a dessert, something to feel guilty about?

I beg to argue that the NT tendency to act nice while really being manipulative, underhanded, and cruel is also based very much on impulse...  and they do not "fight against their impulses."

And nor should we.  This stuff about "being a good citizen, just like your average NT" is really getting to me.

x~aspire~x Wrote:

I just sat here and read all 9 pages of this thread, and I'm glad I did! Every single post was interesting and enlightening.

Including mine? Wink

couldbecousin Wrote:

Unwanted attention is unwanted attention, whatever the reason.��Why attack dinosaur heretic?��She is not the enemy.

CBC, do you think more Aspies should take Heather's example and test their limits to the max?

I know I would suffer from a longterm mental breakdown if I had to do everything "expected" of Today's Man. Does it make me weak and pathetic to declare where my limits are--and say I should not do X, cannot do Y, and so on--rather than "push myself all the way out," the way Heather has done?

dinosaur heretic Wrote:

I agree 100% with batman (I think it was batman) who said pushing onself, for an aspie, can be counterproductive if not outright dangerous. The only reason I'm still alive today is because I finally learned to accept my limits (even before I learned the word "Asperger's," it was clear to me I had distinct limits).

It might be interesting to note that Heather also has an ADHD diagnosis--it could be a case of strong ADHD, mild AS. I suspect I may be in this subtype, in fact. A lot of my problems are related to complete lack of motivation/oppositional attitude, which are also very notorious problems for ADHD folks.