Anyhow you look at it, getting AS diagnosis or self-DX is going to provide any given individual with one of those "now I know there's a reason for my unusual behavior," etc. If we are going to call a lot of unusual behavior "shortcomings," which they would (mostly) be seen as before a person knew they had AS, then that doesn't do justice to the valuable self-insight gained upon DX or self-DX.
When asked more directly about it in the past, I was quite honest when I answered that yes, there is an element of "now I have an excuse to suck" in my personal discovery of AS. That said, I have only mentioned AS once to my parents and I blame my own poor decision-making for most of my current troubles.
But yes I have a tendency to complain and make excuses to evade things, and it has been a lifelong tendency of mine and I'm sorry that it seems this personal characteristic makes all the other self-DXers here look so bad. If I could imply that from some of the indirect comments made recently on this topic.
Anyone have any thoughts on this? Am I a major player in this "bad trend" on AFF that Bardwolf/Ando first brought to light?
I am not "coping that well" in the world right now, but the issue is that people think it is laziness and stubborn inflexibility with me, and I get the impression that people here (on AFF) think my problems are more related to such issues as "entitlement" and "laziness" than AS itself. And therefore see it as a case of using the AS label as an excuse.
I agree that people have been known to fake back disorders (which was probably why it took so long for my severe arthritis to be diagnosed
) but an ASD? When there is SO much prejudice around? I somehow doubt it. Most people have never even HEARD of Asperger's until someone they know is diagnosed.Given the attitude amongst a large segment of the population why would anyone want to risk being labelled '***' by their mates just to say
I don't think I meant it the way you think I did, Tigger, and anyhow... being compulsively honest about every thought in my head sometimes looks more like a fault than a virtue. (more of a fault here, as you were bothered by what I said)
What can I say.. Aspies can be too honest.
I don't understand why you get that impression.
Is is perhaps more of a worry for you that people will think this - rather than a reality?
It's a bit of a worry but also has some genuine ramifications, as I'll readily admit that my case of AS is either lesser or more uncertain than most others here, for various reasons.
For one thing, I seem to be the only one here who takes everything personally, suggesting this is un-Aspie-like in nature and perhaps something an Aspie wouldn't do. I also seem to be one of the most emotionally volatile members, one of very few who express feelings so readily.
Communicating in ways different than other members here goes against the validity of a self-DX. That's a concern, for me anyhow.
In this case, however, Note to Batman:I am talking about you.You are a puzzle.
One possibility for this specific problem you're pointing out, is a lack of self-concept, lack of firm identity... which to me relates to my AS. I've read that lack of a clear personality/identity, is a problem for some spectrumites.
im 165 at most, i am still invisible to women.
Somewhere between 150-160 lbs here, and almost certainly invisible. Unless, perhaps, I'm missing the "subtle" signals...?
Well, I have every right to be here. I have been nothing but honest about my lack of an official diagnosis, and the reasons why I haven't been able to get one. Given that honesty, I think people should believe me when I say I've at least got an informal diagnosis of ADHD from my last therapist--it's not on paper or official because he didn't think it needed to be official, e.g. I wasn't in school at that time.
So at the very least I'm certain of having some kind of neurodiversity, whether that extends beyond ADHD (and I believe it does) is something I haven't had the resources--or the support--to pursue yet.
I have faced that specific criticism you're talking about, here before, and most certainly behind my back by various members who don't approve of some things I say.
Truth is, I'd have the same problems with myself whether I was aware of Asperger's or not. Now I at least understand why I have them.
But there are actually quite a lot of different conditions that have elements that can present, or seem to present, like AS.
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Well, having done some research on these different conditions, I have to say I do not believe any single personality disorder can mimic AS effectively, except for Schizoid PD. That one is actually pretty close to behavioral characteristics of AS.
All the other personality disorders, in my opinion, could be comorbids but basically it would be hard to confuse personality disorder(s) with AS in my opinion. Basically if you think you have AS, you probably do.
As far as conditions besides personality disorders--common ones include ADHD, OCD, Bipolar and their "variants." All of these share some things in common with AS, especially ADHD. So yes I think some confusion could happen here.
But still, I'm of the opinion that if you've done a lot of research and have communicated at length with others who have the condition, and you still think you have AS, I don't find anything wrong with giving yourself the label. Everyone needs an identity--especially those (like me) who never had one.
Good point! I started with the WiredAQ Test in 2002, my son was born in 2003 and got his DX in 2005, only then I self-dxed in 2006 and finally got an official DX November 2007. Without being able to have a look around in the forums I would never have had the idea to get dxed, so I think being self-dxed was just part of the way I had to go.
I'm going to snip your post down to just the intentionally snide statement above, which perturbed me. I'll be a brat and say I have no time for someone who likes to patronize my opinions, so you won't see any of my posts paying notice to you, in the future. Your loss.
I wonder if you are assuming ABA. I am much more of an engagement with a sprinkle of ABA for specific behaviors that are barriers to communicating and learning and not solved by visual support systems & a good sensory diet.
However, ABA has been demonstrated to have usefulness as a sole intervention and taking data is a breeze. I also work my hiney off to empower parents to be co-therapists. Get a parent on board, and the progress can be very exciting.
I am in favor of early intervention b/c the brain has more plasticity and so organic changes are easier to influence and are greater. “acquisition of a normal language is guaranteed for children up to the age of six, is steadily compromised from then until shortly after puberty, and is rare thereafter” (Pinker 1994, p. 293).
Communication is essential for a person to take control of their own lives, and language comes easier to a very young child than any other time in the life span.
Language acquisition can be verbal, sign, PECS, or voice output devise.
One of the reasons I am attracted to "engagement" intervention is that 'play is a child's' work. So my kids do play with me frequently, but you hit paydirt when you get kids with communication challenges interaction frequently with a variety of peers with a variety of strengths. Then the adults just need to make sure that a way to communicate is available AND the child is not in a self contained classroom with a bunch of adults and limited peer interactions.
I walked in on a meeting today (I had one right before so I was late). They were going to pull a kindy out of a regular ed classroom because the teacher couldn't tollerate the melt downs.
By the time I left, the child was back in classroom full-time, had visual schedules etc, whole class sensory breaks at least every 60 minutes (teacher doing sensory activities as part of regular classroom transitions), and teacher & paras participating in professional development in autism.
You wanted to know why I said you were too intellectual for me to understand before, and now you have your answer. I understood almost nothing you wrote in the above post.
I'm going to snip your post down to just the intentionally snide statement above, which perturbed me. I'll be a brat and say I have no time for someone who likes to patronize my opinions, so you won't see any of my posts paying notice to you, in the future. Your loss.
Nothing snide was intended. I am sorry you saw it that way.
My perspective was simply that as a practical matter I could have told my son's teachers until I was blue in the face that he is just a kid, and should be allowed to be who he is, but until I had a professional behind me saying that he can't be force into a mold, no one was listening to me. It was easier for the preschool director, for example, to decide that my son was the way he was because I was a bad parent, than because his brain was wired differently, and, yes, that preschool director as much as told me that my son wouldn't act the way he did if I was doing my job as a mom. So, no one was about to 'let him be" until I was able to have a professional say, "hey, he's an Aspie, stop trying to make him NT, and stop blaming the parents!" If that sounds snide, I am sorry; it is not snide towards you. It is anger I still have left towards that preschool director, who made my child's life diffcult for several years and I have horrible guilt that I couldn't at the time see it for what it was. I am simply grateful that I have encountered far wiser professionals at our elementary school.
I didn't consider that this might have led to a greater understanding of your child's behavior (a good thing), and I suppose that is why I responded in such a brash way, earlier. Sometimes I just miss the small facts which are usually obvious to most people, but not to me.. sorry.
Any way you look at it, though, I had attentional and learning difficulties from age of 0 to the age of 21, and they didn't "budge" despite doing work in the trouble areas. I refer to my schooling and the variety of social interactions I had up to the age of 21. I still have the same "mental blocks" I had then, now. My social anxiety is perhaps worse now, than it was at 18 (when I was very social.)
So, I do not think brain plasticity is the "be all, end all" of what a person can do with their cognition once they hit adulthood. We have things unique to our neurology young, and a lot of these same quirks, strengths, deficits tend to stay the same when we get older, despite work in the trouble areas.
I mean, could you argue that if I had been forced to join more extracurricular activities (such as sports) when younger (in those "most plastic" of all years), I'd be a more capable human being now? I think the reverse could be true, I'd have been so terrible due to my attentional problems, trouble following directions, and mild dyspraxia, the social embarrassment would have lowered my self-esteem and I might be worse for the cause, and not better.
I was never "forced" into extracurricular activities, as an aside... is that bad parenting you think, or just my style (because of extreme anxiety, I hated those things) ??