Aspies For Freedom

hi John - I do notice a difference in the speaking pattern of some people with aspergers - but I guess I relate this pattern to how my son speaks.
Perhaps you practiced that speech. I couldn't speak as fluently as you seem to - I thought your voice was expressive - but maybe it was practiced expressiveness. Not sure. There was rhythm to it.
My son's voice and speaking pattern is very flat and monotone - with the gaps in the wrong places.  He needs time to plan and think what he is going to say. Even reading he wouldn't get the same amount of fluency as you seem to be able to. But you are older - my son is 22.

with the eyes - he couldn't make eye contact well - hardly at all actually. But it seemed to be accepted - he was very shy and very gentle. Still is - and I think people accept his lack of eye contact. Maybe 40 years ago they wouldn't have.

Another thing that interests me - my dad was an abusive alcoholic too - my son drank way too much before getting his diagnosis. He would buy two bottles of vodka soon as he got his benefit - then he made a still and started making his own pure perfect alcohol. He was clever when it came to making alcohol - he perfected the art.
This stopped after he was diagnosed.

I wonder if alcohol is a way of self medicating.
I wonder if my dad had undiagnosed aspergers.

Okay -  I understand. I think some people with 'aspergers  type brains' are slower to mature - but the brain seems to keep maturing for longer - and they achieve a higher level of intelligence.

Just something I think - my thoughts only.

My son had a lisp Will - it was bullied out of him by his school mates.

I sound sort of like that when I am reading aloud from a book (expressive and with clear pronunciation), but my normal, everyday speech is monotone and rather low in pitch. People have also said I am very good at speaking to groups, as when giving a presentation, so I think this may be related.

Your voice sounds normal to me--and pleasing. You're easy to listen to.

(btw, I'm the opposite of monotonic...my voice goes up and down, fast and slow--kind of arythmic and sort of jerky.)

Indeed You and I sounded much more alike than you and and Erich

-- do you remember Erich's voice was pretty "classic Aspie"? Each word has a certain "intentionality" to it (or an intentional certainty.... )  A deliberate, modulated tone with limited variation in pitch or rhythm.

Yup, I remember that.  Limited variation.  Even.
Me, I get told to tone it down (too loud), and told not to laugh so much (sometimes) and also been told I talk too fast.  Also been told to speak up, don't be shy.  And not so much any more but when I was younger, people would make fun of those big multisyllable words I would use.

But dontcha love being obstreperous sometimes?

Autistics do tend to have distinctive voice patterns. We do not all sound alike, but when one hangs around large groups of autistics (in places such as Autreat or Autscape), one does seem to recognize echos of one's own voice within the voices of others.

Sure. Alcohol and drugs are common ways of self medicating among undiagnosed autistics. Getting diagnosed tends to reduce alcohol and drug abuse, thanks to the new understanding and support which results from the diagnosis.

What would you say about someone claiming to have AS, without having any mechanical, mathematical, scientific, or spatial abilities?

We're talking less skill in the above areas than the averages person, AS or NT.

The person in question is me, I don't know if that would alter your response.

I simply do not have Asperger gifts, however most of my deficits line up perfectly with it.

I was and still am a terrible addict to drugs and alcohol, and I know AA won't work for me because I don't understand any kind of NT advice.  Somehow it does not "click" with my mind.

Perhaps diagnosis and appropriate support would help steer me away from complete self-destruction.

averages=average.

I'd better check it out.

I don't know if the sound of the voice is something familiar, except it sounds like most of the commentaries I hear read on NPR. So either they are aspie, or it is just the way some people read?

When I speak (not read) I can go one of many ways... if I am completely comfortable with my ideas on the topic and they are all thought out already, I can speak very fast and go on and on and people say I 'light up' in a way that is dramatically different.  When I am talking about something where my thoughts are still forming, my voice can be jerky and monotone as the words are being translated from my thoughts into communication. I often have a difficult time figuring out the exact words I want to say and put them together in a way that expresses what I'm thinking.  (it's usually when I talk with pauses like that that people interrupt me and my thought process gets all screwed up and I get mad, discouraged or confused)

As for the content - I was told when I was a senior in college "You never look people in the eye and it creeps people out" - I didn't know and I started to look at people, despite how uncomfortable it was, and found people responded to me better, they listened to me, talked to me longer and seemed more interested what I had to say. I started to feel like I actually had friends.  I had always had a hard time connecting with people and so this better response was worth the discomfort and I've since gotten used to it - though I still at times have to tell myself to do it.

My oldest son has a hard time looking people in the eye too. He said he didn't have friends at his new school, and yet when I visited the class it was clear from my observation that the other kids liked him. But he wasn't observing it, or acknowledging their friendliness.  My reaction was to explain to him that they did like him and were giving him hints - I pointed out what those hints were (giving him scissors before he asked for them, saying hi to him) and I pointed out how he can give them hints back (look at their face and say hi back, or thank you - and smile)  He does this now and he's more aware of the friends he has. (I have a whole thread on these hints over in 'parents' forum)

I wonder how many friends I had that I didn't know about because I wasn't looking at people.

Because I know looking people in the eyes is difficult, I don't harp on it with my son. The only time I make him do it with me is when I am trying to communicate something to him and I need to make sure he hears me because he isn't responding. I don't do it meanly, it's more like a game - I know this is hard, but look at me - we smile, he tries, he looks away accidentally, I say 'look at me' - he smiles and tries again. And once he can respond to what I've said he's allowed to go on his way.   Again, I only do this when he is so focused on something that he is blocking me out - as his mother I need to break into his world, and he seems to understand this.

Thank you so much for sharing, I will most likely be reading this book...

LOL! Erich and I have talked about this. I think there's a degree to which NPR is something of an Aspie Haven because they're not trying to sell razzle-dazzle Bimbos and Bombast like the networks.

Is there any way NPR/DemocracyNOW icon Amy Goodman is not Aspie? To me she seems like a fabulous package of all the Aspie gifts put to their best and most beneficial uses.

I'll support you in spirit.