Hi all,
Most people around here know more about me then they'd probably like to, but here's some more...
I am a mom that has AS (unDX) and I have a 5 and 3YO daughters.
I think my oldest has AD/HD... but I know that 4-6 is the age where "everyone" acts like they're AD/HD, so I am all at once trying not to worry about nothing but also to pay attention to what could actually be a problem for her. (Obviously I don't think being differently-minded is a problem, but I want her to learn how to cope with her different mind in a "normal" world.)
Anyway- I don't want to write an obnoxiously long list of symptoms and wierd stories... but she really seems to meet the criteria for both types. I found a site that listed different type of girls with AD/HD. She seems to be the "moody" and the "daydreamer". (It takes her 30 minutes to put a DRESS on and she cries at the drop of a hat- the short story)
When she was having these same problems last year in school I talked at length to her doctor and she told me to wait until kindergarten and see if these problems were just maturity...
So at what point do I start insisting on testing?
Whatever problem she's having is really seeming to have a problem with her self-confidence. Today we were doing her first homework assignment and she was literally in tears because she couldn't draw in the line. (She doesn't pay close enough attention and doesn't have very good fine motor skills) Apparently her teacher said something to her about staying in the lines and she was SO upset about not being able to do it, despite that I think its fairly normal for five...
I know this isn't an ADD forum, but I know that you moms out there will at least know what road I should take or if I should really wait it out...
no no no... I'm not a meds person. And I don't really think she's hyperactive... and I think meds are more for the hyper ones, right?
Growing up an aspie I think that everyone needs to use their coping mechanisms. And that's all I want in a diagnosis, the therapy to help her do her best.
It took 45 minutes to do homework last night. She had to write her name, write green three times, and write the numbers 0-10. {sigh}
Whatever it is, its not going away.
Some the symptoms you descibed are typical ADD-oversenisitiveness,loss of conentration,unable to fokus on subject,silent and shy,speaks low,lack of confidence,they are creative..
To be honest, all the symptoms you list there would also be true for many folks with Asperger's...
The problem is-at least in our country-they say that you have to have symptoms before the age of seven.
My problems started when I was 6,I think.
I didnt see the purpose in the things the other kids found so funny-colloring picturs and play outside in the schoolyard.
If forced to,I did it in a hurry so that I could get it over with.(< pre-school)
I liked so sit by my self in the other end of the schoolyard and let the sand slide through my hands down in a hole in the ground because the warm sand felt so good to touch.
I allways got lost and could not remeber the location of the classrooms or the way home.
The girls in my class did not want me to walk along with them beause I was so childish and as I said earlier I felt frozen out.I used to walk to school with the boys instead,they didnt make fun of me,just teased me in a friendly way now and again....a girl in my class called on the phone and asked my mum if she could play with sister instead.
I hated the "girlish" kind of way the other girls acted and I felt it was fake.I didnt do much good in outside-games and I was picked last in gymnasticks or outdoor-games.
One day I found out that I liked to play computer.
I played loadrunner(for those who now about the game) and I didnt stop untill I got won.
This is a positive memory because suddenly all the kids wanted to play with me...but then,I dindt want to have that kind of friends,hurt as I felt for so long.
As I got older i was allways much more shy,isolated myself,maby so that my soul wouldnt get hurt and I was very nervous and other kids called me wierd all the time even though I didnt know what I had done.
i could continue telling stuff for ages,but I must try to limit myself.
How would I know if I had symptoms before the age of 7?
What to look for?
Thats the tricky part.
Kids are impulsive,and it takes time to learn something new.
Personally the most obvious thing about my ADD is that I forget...A LOT!
Oh, I definitely had that symptom badly ever since kindergarten... but does that mean I couldn't have AS in addition to my ADD?
I am almost 100% certain I have ADD anyway, as my last shrink said I had it.
A couple of things -- one, there's a huge bas toward ADHD as a "boy" thing, so most of what you read and hear will not much consider that ADHD manifests differently for girls. And, two, your aughter's ability to focus for ever on things that interest her, but inability to focus on boring, un-engaging crap is classic ADHD. It's not just "attention deficit" it's also hyper-attention.
There are so may points where ADD, ADHD, Asperger's and Gifted meet, you'll see traits of each and all, and every expert will tell you something different.
Sarah, it sounds like she might also be Indigo, too, and that can only be a good thing
I was very Indigo-like as a child. Not saying I believe any of the backstory about this topic, though.
A couple of things -- one, there's a huge bas toward ADHD as a "boy" thing, so most of what you read and hear will not much consider that ADHD manifests differently for girls. And, two, your aughter's ability to focus for ever on things that interest her, but inability to focus on boring, un-engaging crap is classic ADHD. It's not just "attention deficit" it's also hyper-attention.
There are so may points where ADD, ADHD, Asperger's and Gifted meet, you'll see traits of each and all, and every expert will tell you something different.
That is so much what I was like at age 5! I could concentrate on building towers out of blocks for at least half an hour at a time but when it came to putting toys away, I was very forgetful and forever losing things. Nobody ever thought it was "attention deficit" as most of the time I was quiet and well-behaved. At the same time, other kids thought I was strange and some didn't want to play with me.
Not preachy, but thanks for the warning.
I do tend to worry too much and I do see how it could be bad for her. But in this society everyone is expected to be exactly the same. It is sad, but I will always be walking the line between letting her be herself and encourage that uniqueness and trying to push her into the same box everyone else is in. I personally can't stand the concept of pushing her in any direction and wish she could just be herself. But then I start hurting her because I'm not helping workout her problems at school.
At what point does DXing her give her the tools to help her out in this world and at what point does it become a crutch that pigeonholes her?
Even 5 year olds without AS or ADHD can struggle with drawing in the lines and I really don't think kids that small should be given homework at all because just going to school all day is exhausting enough for them.
I wonder if it is possible for a group of parents to get together and suggest that homework for the littlies be kept to an absolute minimum? Then again, I suppose you run into interpersonal politics and one-upmanship and not wanting to "make waves".
I do think they are overreacting. She's ONLY 5! There is much natural variation amongst kids of that age anyway. It's ridiculous that they are making such a big thing of it and hardly conducive to either your daughter's confidence or yours. It would be better to just let her go at her own pace.
Then again, I know a parent of a five year old here who is in "prep" - equivalent to pre-school, who's also getting these kinds of comments from her teacher. I've seen the girl - she is very bright but again, she is seen as distractible.
The idea of getting your daughter a desk of her own would surely help reduce the distractions. If she is really struggling, it might even be worth holding her back a year, especially if she is not legally required to start school yet.
My advice is pretty basic: Let her be herself--as much as is reasonable--without too much intervention.
But couldn't you take her out of school and try again the following year? Five year olds shouldn't be getting ANY homework and if she is struggling now, it won't get better unless the issues are addressed and the main one I can see is that they are expecting five year olds to act several years older.
I wouldn't have liked being shunted off to a different teacher at age unless they were nicer than my regular teacher (which wouldn't have been difficult since she was a cranky old bag!)
Yes, I have been thinking of holding her back too. But then I start worrying about her being too bored... I think that's part of the problem right now, that the work they give is too hard for her physically because of the fine motor skills thing, and that its too easy for her mentally because its the same info over and over.
But yes, that's one of the things floating around in my head right now.
I'm feeling better this morning... thanks to the friends that have responded. Now I just have to gear up from the conference.
Well, it's also an option to ask your daughter what she would like to do.
So... today was the conference, in case anyone wanted to know.
It went really well. They evaluated her and her skills are at 80-90% for what a kindergartner should know at the end of the year. (Isn't that like saying she should be in first grade? Obviously wouldn't do it, but...) So the plus is she's very smart, the minus is that she can't complete her work unless she's in an annex and if she doesn't have very good fine motor skills so she has to use the big crayons.
So I'm proud of her. She's going to go into some sort of "accelerated reader" program where she can read at a more independent pace. So that's good.
The teacher seemed to agree that she's bored with the worksheets but that it is the best way to get better at it.
Good news that they accept how bright she is, especially with the reading!
I found that buying a pile of books of mazes helped one of mine with his fine motor skills - he just loved solving them, because it wasn't just 'following a line' (BORing 
) but engaged his intellect. There are some wonderful maze books out there. His fingers bend both ways too!
get your kid tested right away they will mellow out i my teen years i really melowed out.