I definitely pay TOO MUCH attention to her, born from a desire to give her all of the love and security that I could from birth, and then greatly increased by my reading of Greenspan's Engaging Autism when she turned three, where he basically recommends being engaged with the child CONSTANTLY, following her interest.
I have not read this book, but I know that if I want a smooth-running day with my son, all I have to do is engage him constantly, follow his interests, and engage him one-on-one all day long. Unfortunately, this is simply not possible since I have another young child who also needs attention. I try to get them both involved in the same activities, but the AS child screams and completely loses it when his little brother is touching his stuff, thinking of touching his stuff, or walking into a room where it might be possible that he might think of touching his stuff. It's sometimes hard to find the fine line between forgivable AS behavior and old-fashioned brattiness.
My son first was tongue tied had a frenectomy at six weeks , had breastfeeding jaundice, screamed perpetually whenever I was not in his sight, disliked being out of anyones arms got car sick, sick from the baby swing and from the johnny jumpup, had colick, had diaper rash as an allergic reaction to carrots. he refused interraction with anyone other than me--i had a trying time doing anything including going to the bathroom. showering, eating a hot food--try grocery shopping with a child that wants to scream the whole time he is in motion. poor sleeper, you name it. i had my hands full. the baby sitter was afraid of him at ten months she would say "he screamed the whole time he was here. " of course he was walking by then and was mumbling a string of colors that did not mean anything. when he started day care (i tried to get him comfortable around other kids) he would go off by himself. he did not like naps, resisted group activities and refused meals. he was removed from daycare becuse they neglected him and would leave him along in another room away from his peer group during naptime . he was horrible at potty training, he was resistant to staying in his car seat--i bought toy handcuffs and shackled his feet together after putting him in his car seat so we could get anywhere we had to go safely. at the same time he was watching his sister so he learned it with her by the time he got to preschool he was rote reading, by kindergarten he knew his mulitplication.
the whole experience exhausting...i caught up on my sleep when he went to kindergarten.
I've often felt that some of the posts at this board give AS credit where it is not due or blame AS when it is not necessarily culpable. There is just plain old human variability at work as well.
Well, yes. An easy baby or difficult baby tells you nothing about what that child will be like eventually. Most of my friends had difficult babies (hardly sleeping, hardly eating, no clear language until past age 3), and those kids are all NT. I think we can see from this thread that there is no consistent "type" of AS baby. There is no consistent "type" of any baby. It would seem to make sense that a baby on the autism spectrum would tend to be more "difficult" generally, owing to the various sensitivities--sounds, lights, etc.--so many people talk about at this board. But even that would tell you nothing, because lots of NT babies are sensitive to sounds, lights, etc.
DS was an "easy" baby in most ways other than feeding. Slept well at night, not very fussy about where he slept, what he wore etc.Generally very cute and smiley! Disliked being undressed and baths. But he was difficult with feeding; breastfeeding jaundice, and then very sicky/colicky and slow with drinking milk. Walked and first words on the late side of normal but still OK, speech is pretty delayed though - only just managing 3 word sentences at 3.5. Waiting to see the paediatrician in January. Suspect the diagnosis will be AS or HFA, but could possibly be speech disorder.
Wow, blessed, you deserve a medal!
I'm speechless! A big feet if you've read my other posts!
he was since diagnosed egg allergic, lactose intolerant, lacked stereo vision? (he wears glasses with prisms since he was 8, ) is constipated the gi specialist said that is common in aspies because they are too lazy to do number 2, he also has plantars warts (he bit me during the last lazer treatment) but he now enjoys sleeping and he sets his own bedtime...
My mother and grandmother said I was an easy baby.. Specifically with their ease of getting sleep. I thought easy baby or mission impossible baby were common symptoms of the autistic spectrum.
Your son sounds just like mine. In everyone's eyes but mine he was the perfect baby! He slept through the night the day he was born and never woke up more than once. The thing that made me uneasy was the he always wanted to be on the floor, another "good" thing since he didn't scream the second I put him down like some. Quite the contrary... he screamed and cried when I held him. He was easy to wean off the breast since he didn't have to be held to take a bottle, and although he walked at only 6 months he was never into anything since he would find one thing to do for hours.
Just out of curiosity, how many of you had "easy" babies who were later diagnosed on the spectrum? My son was the easiest baby on earth. He slept 12 hours each night, took two very predictable long naps during the day, ate anything we gave him, reached all his milestones at the appropriate times, didn't care what he was wearing or what kind of sheets he slept on, etc. The only thing I can point to now that we realized early on was that he was easily overstimulated. For example, we had a mobile that he loved to look at, but we could only put it up for about ten minutes a day (i.e, we had to put it up, let him enjoy it for a brief amount of time, and take it down--rather than just leave it attached to the crib). He also would completely melt down if he didn't get his nap on time--like if we were out running errands and late getting home. Other than that, he was a breeze. He was speaking so clearly by such an early age that he could easily tell me what he wanted or needed, which meant none of the frustration-based tantrums my friends' kids were regularly having.
Jump forward 3 years and he's more difficult than any other child his age that I know. He melts down ten, fifteen, twenty times a day, shoves/hits/kicks his baby brother, screams and has fits when we try to get him to do something he doesn't want to do (like wait just one second while I put my shoes on before going outside to play), etc. Is it common for an AS child to get so much more difficult with age? I thought I'd read somewhere that autism peaked around age two, but my son's symptoms have definitely increased since his third birthday. Of course, he does not have a diagnosis--I'm just guessing he's AS based on everything I've read (and I've read a lot).
My son was anthing but an easy baby. Nil suck reflex so his mother couldn't breast feed him. He even refused to suck from a bottle. This necisstated a rather long stay in hospital as he was losing weight. But I did some modification. Simply cut a huge cross in the teat so if the child moved at all he got fed. That worked. Weight increased.
Next problem. Projectile vomiting. Watch out. And scream. Like suck the breath in till he went blue in the face and then let it all out. 120db. So solution was a 5ml dose of mylanta plus a touch of etoh. That helped.
Next problem projectile poo. Damn stuff would come out everywhere. Solution larger nappy on nappy. Then when old enough to pull himself up in the cot, he would just pull and pull, shake and shake till the cot fell apart then laugh like anything (stimming no doubt).
Far from an easy baby but a delightful teenager. Unlike my daughter who was a very easy baby but that was it when she became a toddler and older.
My son was anthing but an easy baby. Nil suck reflex so his mother couldn't breast feed him. He even refused to suck from a bottle. This necisstated a rather long stay in hospital as he was losing weight. But I did some modification. Simply cut a huge cross in the teat so if the child moved at all he got fed. That worked. Weight increased.
You and your wife particularly have my sympathy on this one. My son also refused to breast feed, which didn't go down well with the breast feeding mafia in Scotland who work to targets and basically bully you into breast feeding. I wanted to breast feed and my son was tube fed for the first 3 weeks or so, and I had to go and attempt to breast feed him every 3 hours. It was physically and emotionally draining.
When we got home, I was constantly back at the hospital because he had dry nappies indicating that he wasn't feeding. I even went back into hospital with him for 4 nights to try and get breast feeding established. No success.
I got absolutely no advice on bottle feeding. None! When I was back in hospital for those 4 nights they graciously agreed that I could bottle feed him at night - but I didn't know how to bottle feed! I had to ask how to get the bottle in his mouth. A particularly obnoxious midwife eventually dragged herself away from her desk, leaned over the bed, put her finger against my son's chin, pulled it down, stuck the bottle in, said "that's how!" and walked off.
And guess what? He wouldn't bottle feed either! I eventually worked out that he was putting his tongue to the roof of his mouth, so you had to watch where his tongue was and get the bottle in as fast as you could.
You may discern from this rant that I'm less than happy with the breast feeding coercion, sorry, strategy, where I live. Some time ago now I contacted the Health Board to relate my experience in the hope that they might reconsider the bullying, sorry, persuasion tactics that they employ. I was offered confidential counselling!!!!!!! *steam from ears*
End rant! 
Just out of curiosity, how many of you had "easy" babies who were later diagnosed on the spectrum? My son was the easiest baby on earth. He slept 12 hours each night, took two very predictable long naps during the day, ate anything we gave him, reached all his milestones at the appropriate times, didn't care what he was wearing or what kind of sheets he slept on, etc. The only thing I can point to now that we realized early on was that he was easily overstimulated. For example, we had a mobile that he loved to look at, but we could only put it up for about ten minutes a day .....................I deleted some...................................................etc. Is it common for an AS child to get so much more difficult with age? I thought I'd read somewhere that autism peaked around age two, but my son's symptoms have definitely increased since his third birthday. Of course, he does not have a diagnosis--I'm just guessing he's AS based on everything I've read (and I've read a lot).
The above is from the original post/poster. This describes my now HFA/aspie son when he was a baby. He was absolutely current on all the so-called typical physical milestones - he also was well ahead on speaking with more than 1oo words at 15 months old. At year and a half though he stopped speaking and all eye contact etc., however, he stayed very happy and slept very consistently - he was like clockwork. I thought that the reason he seemed to be behind on social interest and some maturity was that he slept throught most of ages 2 to 5. He still took a 3 and 1/2 hour nap midafternoon every day on top of his 12 hour nights... By the time he ate and went to the bathroom, not much of hte day was left. He was very very happy and easy - BUT only if I kept to the schedule he showed me he needed. I could not be out and about with him during the time he wanted to have a bowel movement or try to feed him lunch at a restaurant or change his schedule or he could easily have been unhappy and grumpy. I chose (and was blessed to be able to not have to work outside of the home) and was happy to just follow his needs and they were really very few.
1. Routine for eating sleeping and pooping
2. healthy foods
3. lots of fresh air and quiet
4. exposure to large groups of people only after having been fed and napped -- exposure of less than two hours.
My daughter shrieked a lot as a baby. Wouldn't sleep alone in a cot. Hated being left in a room alone. Strangely she wanted to be propped up on a cushion watching people all the time. Extreme separation anxiety, when she was toddler.
She also liked thrashing naked from side to side on the floor (she still likes to do this and she's 6 now). Gagged on all solids (still does sometimes), hated having neck, head, torso bathed (still not keen).
She got rushed to hospital several times cos we were convinced the continual shrieking was pain. She was always asleep or gurgling happily by the time we got there! Have subsequently discovered she loves travelling and transport. Its common for babies to be lulled by rocking sensation in cars etc, but she still loves it and copes with even long-haul flights very easily (now there's a blessing).
She has developed a bigger set of fears and phobias as she's grown older (more experience I suppose), but she has no behavioural problems. She's a nice little girl, who just has sensory integration issues. I'm used to them, so it's not a problem usually, and since she was diagnosed 2 yrs ago, I now understand why she has these reactions.
As for the social stuff,  at 3 she couldn't do eye contact and would close down if anybody apart from me tried to talk with her. but since starting school she has made great progress, and is now at 6 a popular child who enjoys school. I was recommended to send her to a special school, but we went mainstream, and it worked for us. She gets great support there as well, so lots of credit to the school.
i found taking the kids for a drive was just like an auto burp machine. asleep in no time.