It is all a matter of perspective, I think. So many look for it in a pill instead of looking within themselves. When you have faced the worst (for us it was almost losing our child in a car crash) life's minor daily struggles seem pretty insignificant in comparison. So many seek the easiest path, but just as fire tempers steel, life's suffering has purpose. Hrick taught me that. Mom of Hrick
Your comment was beautifully thought and said Max.
As to the other, I did not mean to imply that no one should take medication. On the contrary, there are people who need it and should take it.
It just seems that the prevailing thought/expectation today is that we should/ need always be in that "happy place". There is little appreciation or tolerance for the experience of feeling all of the other God given emotions or what comes out of them. Mom
To quote Nadine Brown quoting Mom of Hrick
Mom:
"So many look for it in a pill instead of looking within themselves"
NadineBrown:
I really don't like this kind of language because it is based on the assumption that people who take anti-depressants are somehow weaker or morally inferior to those who don't. "
...I would never belittle someone else for taking a prescription medicine that they think is right for them....
If you knew someone who was diabetic and they took insulin, would you see it as a "weakness" that they couldn't manufacture the insulin in their own bodies? ...
More tolerance, less judging, please. " end quote
____________________
I dislike being taken out of context... especially given my second post, but oh well.
And if the shoe fits, I'll wear it. I love the diabetic simile as well by the way because I actually am diabetic, and one of those whose diabetes could be managed solely by diet if I'd just have the stamina and will power to stick to the very strict diet prescribed. Healthy but difficult and not a lot of fun so my will power breaks down and I take the little pill supplement instead to make up the difference. That is a very different situation from the diabetic for whom diet would not work and insulin is the only option. Both situations exist, as to diabetes as well as depression. So I guess, Nadine is correct. I do think that some the choice is made from a point of weakness. For others it is not a matter of choice. They need to take the pill. When all is said and done we all have our strengths and weaknesses. I am not sure whether recognizing it equates to judging it.
But just for the record, I'd never belittle someone for taking prescription medicine they think is right for them either Nadine.
Many thanks for the comment though. I think you just motivated me to go back on that strict diet again.
Mom
As a teenager I started having frequent bouts of palpitations which I found worrying but the doctors didn't consider heart disease so I was put on anti-anxiety pills when I was 19. After just one week I woke up one morning and thought "Oh, is THIS what it's like not to be constantly worried?". I stopped taking the pills immediately and simply decided not to worry anymore about anything un-urgent. My heart still frequently mis-fired, though!
I coped being drug-free for several years until stupid doctors put me on a new anti-depressant pill as I was having a really hard time coping with chronic back and joint pain, a mis-firing heart and three small children. The new pill turned me into a zombie who simply was unable to care about ANYTHING - including the safety of said offspring - so after 48 hours I gave them back to the pharmacy and continued to cope.
Years later, when I was running my own taxi business and raising my, now five in number, children I started to get chest pains. Verdict? Indigestion caused by anxiety (that again!)
Some people get prescribed anti-depressants to stop them bothering doctors who are too lazy or incompetent to diagnose the real disorder. How long did it take to get diagnosed? The back pain is Ankylosing Spondylitis - 12 years (finally diagnosed when it attacked my eyes); The 'indigestion' is Prinzmetal's Angina - 11 years; the 'anxiety attacks' were really Atrial fibrillation - 33 years.
I wonder how many women are actually seriously ill but are being medicated out of complaining?
For the same reason that those who were abused as children often abuse their children & people who have been in abusive relationships tend to repeat the cycle by choosing another abusive partner.
People who have been badly abused in childhood equate this with love, because that is all they ever knew & what they do know is parents are supposed to love their children.so this must be love.
Does this really happen?? There is no the logic in this.
My dad was an abusive alcoholic - I made very sure when looking for a partner in life - not to choose someone who abused alcohol.
I cannot see how an abused child could mistake the abuse for love.
..But seriously, what's so bad about their lives that they need medication to help?
I know that this is a touchy subject, the medicating of america... blah blah blah. But as I see it my life is way worse than theirs. I'm not saying that to be whiny, though it may sound that way! But really, they drive
nice cars, have a
nice house and generally live
easier lives than I do... and they don't have a PDD.
There husbands work regular hours, and don't go out of town or anything like that either... so what's the deal?
I'm not a mother, but I wouldn't be so quike to say "easier lives". Material things are poor substitutes when it comes to human emotion, so of course nice cars, or what ever, don't help them feel any better. There could be a number of reasons that is happening. I doubt they could just stop feeling it and just suddenly stop having problems. I wander sometimes if some depressed parents question their ability as parents or worse, as human beings. That would be a big burdon to deal with right there. But then, depression can happen to anyone.
There are also reasons they can't just "let their brains get them out of it" because it doesn't work like that. Sometimes a brain's emotional defenses are strong, and cause trouble. Sure, they might look oh so 'fortunate", to the outside world that is!
Since this is in a place for Autistic people.. Does the line "Why can't you just be normal?" seem familior?
For the same reason that those who were abused as children often abuse their children & people who have been in abusive relationships tend to repeat the cycle by choosing another abusive partner.
People who have been badly abused in childhood equate this with love, because that is all they ever knew & what they do know is parents are supposed to love their children.so this must be love.
I recall analysis showing that this is not actually the case. The abused were neither more or less likely to become abusers. Even so, this continues to be conventional wisdom: the cycle of abuse. I see this story line on 'Law and Order' all the time. Hard to change a compelling story, I suppose.
Yeah _ my thoughts as well. I query it strongly - I would really like to see some evidence to back up this belief - too often it has been preached - but I haven't seen the evidence.
I am one of three sisters who were horribly abused by our mother psychologically, physically & sexually.
People didn't talk about things in those days, so if a neighbour would hear a child screaming in a house, it would be ignored.
Speaking for myself, we as children, thought that everyone was treated like this & that it was normal family life.
I accept this WFM's because as you say, it was your experience- - but my experience was completely the opposite. I remember feeling such shame about my family. I wished my family could have been like everyones else's - other peoples family's weren't like mine. [/quote]
No way did I think it was normal!!I think abused people give out some kind of signal, just like the please manipulate me signal to would be abusers.
I think abused people give out some kind of signal, just like the please manipulate me signal to would be abusers.
I HATE this comment - my mum didn't give out a "please manipulate me signal"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This takes the onus of the abuser and puts blame on the victim. Utter crap.
darn --- 2nd try!!!
I am one of three sisters who were horribly abused by our mother psychologically, physically & sexually.
People didn't talk about things in those days, so if a neighbour would hear a child screaming in a house, it would be ignored.
Speaking for myself, we as children, thought that everyone was treated like this & that it was normal family life.
I accept this WFM's because as you say, it was your experience- - but my experience was completely the opposite. I remember feeling such shame about my family. I wished my family could have been like everyones else's - other peoples family's weren't like mine.
No way did I think it was normal!!
I think abused people give out some kind of signal, just like the please manipulate me signal to would be abusers.
I HATE this comment - my mum didn't give out a "please manipulate me signal"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This takes the onus of the abuser and puts blame on the victim. I'm sorry but this is utter crap.
Read my second post emmy - I reposted - my first post didn't come out the way I wanted it to.
I don't believe we gave out a please manipulate me signal. That comment makes me sick.
The problem lies with the abuser.
Or Maybe Lucie1 some bullies are very good at picking up on insecurities, weakness, vulnerability and manipulate these to there advantage. Viewed from this light they are picking up on a signal but it is not the victims fault. But hey let's cut the crap on this matter. No-one deserves to be abused. The people in society who are are generally people in a position of weakness. The are abused by people who have more power. It is nothing about niceness, fairness or even-handedness. I don't think anyone here is suggesting victim blaming and I don't think you or any other rational person ought to put it out there. This is a volatile issue and many people who have been abused (you better believe in the autistic population abuse of some kind is higher) do not like to be attacked on speaking up on this........play nice!
That's fine Lucie1 but history is just that. Here we ought to be trying to learn and support each other. In all honesty there looks to be two people and only two people here who aren't being overly nice. One grumpy middle-aged man and yourself (whom until now has responding really nicely and contributing to discussions positively). Whatever your history, don't use it to drag down the potential of your experience here. There are a lot of good people here and things to learn, people to share with, fun to have and friends to bond with.
Or Maybe Lucie1 some bullies are very good at picking up on insecurities, weakness, vulnerability and manipulate these to there advantage. Viewed from this light they are picking up on a signal but it is not the victims fault. But hey let's cut the crap on this matter. No-one deserves to be abused.
The people in society who are are generally people in a position of weakness. The are abused by people who have more power. It is nothing about niceness, fairness or even-handedness. I don't think anyone here is suggesting victim blaming and I don't think you or any other rational person ought to put it out there.
This is a volatile issue and many people who have been abused (you better believe in the autistic population abuse of some kind is higher) do not like to be attacked on speaking up on this........play nice!
Yeah, I've had people suggest to me I might have "invited" abuse and I think it is complete crap.