Aspies For Freedom

I hear you loud and clear too, CJ.  I think a single mother can have advantages if the child is old enough to sleep through the night and use a potty, but then you have to convince two souls to accept you.  It can be done.  Friend of mine married a mom of a special needs kid.

Maybe I'd even skip having a kid of my own, care for that one instead.

Imperfections?
1.  First one shot me down because I made a hasty mistake, wanted to be her answer, proposed to her, realized my time was not yet come to make a living, situation taking on its own time frame, did the right thing, called off.   She wasn't in a talking mood for three years, but after four she thanked me ("you were a real friend", combination praise, apology, thank you and goodbye)
2.  I dumped the second one after she assaulted me with a beverage and additional verbal abuse.  One of my best friends, a she, said I didn't deserve a relationship at that price.  Sayonara.
3.  Now I think someone may actually have a good question about the most recent one.  Dissimilar interests, a crippling mental disability, and I think the willingness to let life come to her (get checks in the mail, have friends pick her up, motivational deficit).

I think so, even women, and even Christians, to a point, anyway.  That kind of broke my heart (even Christians).  It was a bunch of spiritually mature Christians that inspired me to be one.

I practice what I preach.  My last gf may be heavier than me.  I was hoping she'd be interesting on the inside.  She is too passive in her life.  I couldn't wait to blankety-blank get a job.  She cashes the checks when they come.

Marriage is a partnership.  Kids need both parents.  My last gf may not be fully capable of either.  A mutual friend tried talk me out of her, said she would wind up in a treatment facility after the death of her mother.  I believe it.  Mom gives her her meds, helps her manage the disability checks, hardly serious about getting a job, her license back, or making friends on her own.  I think she is being a little unrealistic to ask me to drive south 21 miles so she can go to the cinema.  But I'm sorry that she can't have what she wants,  I know she'd like to be a mom, but right now she depends on her mom.

I am so sorry I shared this daydream with everyone.

#2 has anger management problems (obviously), claimed she was a child of some African American singer, angry he denied her, angry at her mom God knows why.  Maybe she was testing us by verbally abusing us to see if we'd leave her too.  Eventually a bunch of us did.  

She said I had eaten her hot dog (she had not asked for one at the concession stand).

It was a police incident.  The officer had known her from before, but he advised me to seek love someplace else.

Loud and clear SoulSick.  Loud and clear CJ.   I'm chuckling, Max.

1.  I hear SoulSick loud and clear.  Do the gym more often (regularly!), portion control, and if I can't eliminate the junk food outright, make me walk 1/2 mile to buy some.

2.  I am very sorry CJ, I hear you loud and clear too.  I agree self-pity-itis is bad.  But maybe the depression causes it.  I've had two consultation sessions in little more than a week and the lack of happiness (and self pity) is retreating.

3.  I actually had an urn in mind, Max.  I guess my cremains would be a little smaller if I dieted.  (And the fact that I am an organ donor, that means even less of me is going to be turned to ash anyway).

SoulSick, I have suspected that women are becoming as nit picky on appearance about men as the men have been about the women, and this has been going on for some time.

Insert country song [Guys Do It All The Time] here.

I think you said you know from experience, right?
Do you see a lot of that going on?

I came to the realization last Thursday that what I really wanted was not in the snack machine so I had no sweets all day at the office.  

That is hard.  I wonder if sugar (or chocolate, which also has cocoa) is chemically addictive, messes with your dopamine or serotonin.

Would diet pills counteract this effect?

Endless diet Cokes, for the caffeine, carbonation, and sweetness.  I think the caffeine improves my mood.

Right on SoulSick.

I just had a talk with a psychologist.  Yes, sounding desperate is a VERY BAD IDEA.  It is so important not to be desperate as to delay joining say, E-Harmony, until you deal with it.  You may waste time, energy, and money on people who don't respect you anyway.

I'm glad ya'll helped me figure it out.

Yes, CJ.  A rough guesstimate is that a per capita share of church administrative, utility, and energy costs boils down to $20 per member per week so that is what I am trying.

That would have to increase four to five times to actually constitute a tithe, but tithing is a Jewish concept last mentioned in Malachi, last chapter of the Old Testament.  The New Testament goes to some trouble to explain that very little of the old Jewish law is intended to apply to non-Jews (Gentiles): avoiding sexual immorality, avoiding blood, avoiding meat offered to idols, and something else.  Circumcision is specifically taken off the list of musts for Gentiles (Acts 15).  Come as you are, either way, Paul writes.  

I was upset that I felt obsessively compelled to give a mathematical proportion of income, and did for a while.
Somewhere it says let a person give what he purposeth in his heart to give, not under compulsion, because God loves a cheerful giver.

If you do give out of love, there is the opportunity that your love may set an equal or higher figure for offerings.  Mom always said money was money, and from the preacher's view I can understand.  

But don't give expecting a reward.

No way.

Jesus told us to expect troubles but He would be there with us.  Now how does Malachi "tithe and you will be blessed so much, test God on it" sound in the context of troubles?  

I did not have a good job until I was saved six years.
Trust God for what you need and thank God for what you have.
That makes sense actually.

No, that is not what I am trying to say.  I am still trying to avoid specific subjects.  
But as you asked, to save them, refer them to Jesus to be saved.
I guess I need to add eternal punishment to my list of topics not to bring up.  Sorry, rossco.

There is no hate about that, not for those who try to take Christianity seriously.  We are sad (not gloating) about that.  My dad, I think he's lost for good, for example.

I am no fan of involuntary singleness, but I have been a Christian 14 years.  How long did you read the Bible and listen to its interpretations by preachers?

How well do you know God?

Speaking for myself, I can only presume that God intended the Bible to be written as it was.  I think I would be a little angry if someone libeled me in a holy book.

Sooner or later every Christian is going to dislike something or other God says.  But he or she can't do a damned thing about it except fall away from the faith.  If we choose to stick around to the source of mystic power that promises to save us from damnation, we do not have a right to complain.

But we can admit that if we were God, maybe we would never put that female pastor in that position our selves, because it seems less than fair.  I say that in sympathy to people who aren't saved.

Most people are in the same predicament, myself included.  Wait for a marriage or do something called a sin.  Except in her case, she gets to wait forever.  No that doesn't seem fair.  

Now, back to the central topic of this thread, I am sure the Christian woman who
a. shocked me at one time by approaching me as a friend when it was unheard of, and told me some things about Jesus I had never heard before
b.  but would not accept a closer relationship, but understood my situation better than her boyfriend did
c.  and once again became my friend after I converted (separate group of Christians), an example of compassion from a background of suffering

I am sure there is little that is fair about free will in romantic relationships
1.  Asperger: The USA Today article about the Yale researchers suggested we would not want a relationship, others do not believe we are able to manage one
2.  overweight: this seems to slice both ways by each gender (read the Slate article)
3.  other mental illnesses including depression management

This woman, married 13 years, two kids, has known me nearly twenty years, and I think she could become indignant over the issue of weight discrimination or Asperger discrimination and romantic rejection.

As a matter o' fact we were discussing painful Christianity last night.  How is God going to judge America, and us as individuals?  Some allusion to "gee, what am I doing for Jesus today?"   The concept of collective judgment for things like war and foreign policy and government spending.

Mt. Vernon Baptist Church is no toadie for Bush.