I have noise sensitivity too.
It frustrates me that people consider it a 'fault' in me. And also it is an imposed problem - i.e. if things in the world weren't so damn loud I'd be fine!
And why are things loud? Because NTs have worse hearing than aspies.
Generally if you can see better, for example, or run faster, than another person, this is seen as a positive quality.
So why exactly is the fact that someone can hear better seen as a negative thing?
Probably because 1) thinking like this would make NTs realise that they are not perfect and 2) NTs design the world selfishly - they design it for themselves and fail to take into account anyone who is different, whether it be a physical difference, and mental difference and neuro-developmental difference...or any other difference.
I have noise sensitivity too.
It frustrates me that people consider it a 'fault' in me. And also it is an imposed problem - i.e. if things in the world weren't so damn loud I'd be fine!
I understand all that completely, but since NTs are allowed to overcome their fears, why not aspies? NTs face issues like this all the time. Plenty of them have irrational fears, panic disorder, etc. If overcoming an irrational fear can improve your life, I say go for it. Clinging to a fear and "claiming" it is an avoidance technique, unless that fear is rational (as with the snakes). The average loud noise may be annoying--even to NTs--but it is not going to hurt you. And loud noises are going to be around you every day all the time. Things are not loud because NTs run the world--NTs are not the cause of thunderstorms, rooster crows, or half the noisy machines on earth (which were probably invented by aspies!).
the problem is that I am not afraid of loud noises at all. And I don't find them necessarily annoying. I have very sensitive hearing. All people can suffer pain from noises which are very loud - this is why there are legal limits as to how loud something can be.
As I have more sensitive hearing, my threshold for experiencing pain is lower than that of NTs.
So the issue is one of PAIN - and pretty darn severe pain. I also experence distress and panic AS A RESULT OF THE PAIN. Pain which I shouldn't have to experience in the first place.
And I don't think that having a panic and distress reaction to pain is unreasonable or irrational. Even if I were to have some kind of therapy to not be 'afraid' of being in pain, I would still experience the actual pain, and pain is NEVER going to be pleasant.
Not all loud noises are caused by NTs but many are. Shouting, shreiking, screaming, loud announcements on public transport, vehicles (especially ones that are in need of repairs that their NT owners for whatever reason have not carried out or had carried out), screeching brakes, lifts, escalators, squeaky doors, stamping feet, loud shoes, noisy people / families, people who have TVs or stereos too loud.....
I have an aspie friend who is loud-noise sensitive, especially with vaccuums. She's 15 now and things are better. But her mom asks her to go outside or to another room. "I need to vaccuum now." My kids (5 and 3) are not diagnosed on any spectrum, and they go to their room or outside on the back porch to color with chalk.
I always hated vaccuums too. I was eventually able to deal with it. Now I vaccuum my place myself. Being in control of it helps a lot! I also break my house into zones and then I can just do a room or two at a time, every other day or so. Then its not an hour of vaccuuming.
Good Luck!
Barnburner, yes, pain can be very annoying, and yes we sometimes have to learn to endure pain, NT or AS.
Aliengirl might have a good point; maybe your son is not only scared of the hoover, but experiences pain also. For me the sound of a vacuumcleaner is horrible, not because of the decibels as such, but because of this high howling tone that's mingled with it. That probably is also why my youngest (NT) can stand the sound of drilling machines, snding machines etc, but not of hoovers.
She does not panic anymore, she endures it, just as I do, but she'll never like it.
And pain sometimes is something I have to endure, if I like it or not. Its how this world is. And painkillers dont always do the trick, or their sideeffects are even worse. And sometimes the benefits of doing something are just bigger than the pain it causes.
But I don't like it when someone is telling that its just nonsense. I was ridiculed because I complained about some things that are very painful to me and not to most others. But I also was ridiculed when I said giving birth (natural) was not really painful to me. My pain sensivities are different from average, but not less real.
Until my daughter was diagnosed as aspie/HFA I thought the noise/hoover thing was cos she is hemiplegic. In fact I thought a lot of the aspie stuff (stims, sensory/tactile) was caused by that.
The reason being that if you look on the messageboard forums for hemiplegic kids (
http://www.hemihelp.org.uk ) lots of hemi kids (and adults) have noise sensitivity (esp hoovers !), do stim stuff, have sensory/tactile sensitivities and have "social behaviour" issues.
Confusing but quite interesting. Are a lot of hemi kids also undiagnosed ASD, or is there some sort of neurological link. My daughters' hemiplegia is in the left side of the brain (affecting the right side of her body), but I'm not sure if kids affected on the other side also share these characteristics.
Barnburner, you make many good points. Maybe give him a snowcone everytime you vacuum?
That's a fantastic idea! My son does great with incentives/rewards, but sometimes I forget to try them.
I do think my son is actually afraid of the vacuum cleaner, and not so much that the noise hurts his ears. He's not bothered in the least by leaf blowers, which sound like vacuum cleaners but are much worse. My son started to hate Teletubbies when he saw that NuNu (or whatever). He gets confused and sometimes afraid when he sees non-living things "alive." I guess this is related to the literal thinking and lack of imaginative play. He sees that NuNu--or our vacuum cleaner--and thinks it's alive and maybe coming after him? He used to be like this with the windshield wipers on the car. They must have looked to him like they had a mind of their own, and he used to fuss and cover his eyes when we would drive around on rainy days. He got over that after many, many conversations about what the wipers do, how they're controlled, and how nobody would be able to drive in the rain if they didn't have windshield wipers.
Would it help to show your kid which things fit into a hoover and which things not. And show him you can always retrieve a pair of socks (yours of course). I just remembered that that did the trick for my oldest. (I had completely forgotten that she had her issues with the vacuumcleaner too).
I suffer from hyperacusis and I do see a specialist audiologist for this. In fact this was a great help and the one only helpful person I have seen out of all my issues he understood. I have a soundball which I use at night has been a great help for my trouble sleeping. I can have soundgenerating hearing aids, but I have held off on those as I have been doing really well. I also take anti-eplipetic mood stabiliser's which may help with the hearing sensitivity, don't ask why I don't know. Relaxation also helps, I have improved since I moved to my own place. It is understood (in my case at least) that my hearing sensitivity is made worse by anxiety, in that case their are some behaviour issues, I am worse if I focuse on it... get wound up if I don't do that then its okay. I use an mp3 player to help, but now avoid doing that everywhere as that is avoidance behaviour and makes me worse, just have it on me in case I am suddenly overwhelmed. I am worse before my period.
My mum says I freaked out with the hoover, electrical appliances etc when I was a kid. My mum just got on with it and took no notice, that worked she said I developed tolerance.
I also have the issue of not being able to hear well because of background noise, its a bummer in the pub with friends, as it makes it more difficult to follow converstions. I also have trouble reading if I can't shut out background noise, but ironically with my mp3 player on I read well. I am going on a sign language course soon and I will hopefully go to the deaf community to use it, I may also look into learning to lip read.
There are support pages for hyperacusis/Tinnitus on the internet, I will also add that NT can get Hyperacusis as a result of damage to the ear.
So the issue is one of PAIN - and pretty darn severe pain. I also experence distress and panic AS A RESULT OF THE PAIN. Pain which I shouldn't have to experience in the first place.
And I don't think that having a panic and distress reaction to pain is unreasonable or irrational. Even if I were to have some kind of therapy to not be 'afraid' of being in pain, I would still experience the actual pain, and pain is NEVER going to be pleasant.
Not all loud noises are caused by NTs but many are. Shouting, shreiking, screaming, loud announcements on public transport, vehicles (especially ones that are in need of repairs that their NT owners for whatever reason have not carried out or had carried out), screeching brakes, lifts, escalators, squeaky doors, stamping feet, loud shoes, noisy people / families, people who have TVs or stereos too loud.....
I think aspies, just like NTs, should practice tolerance. Aspies expect NTs to be tolerant of their "quirks" (or whatever), but some aspies feel justified in being intolerant of NTs. Maybe that NT with the stereo "too loud" has poor hearing. And do you really think that aspies never have squeaking brakes on their cars? Trust me, my son shrieks and screams much louder than any NT child. If regular daily sounds--traffic, feet walking, escalators (which to me sound silent!)--are actually painful for you, there must be something you can do. Have you seen a hearing specialist? You say that these normal, everyday sounds don't bother you, they cause you actual pain. Have you been diagnosed with hyperacusis? You seem to be hurt by sounds from all types of volumes and frequencies. The difference between a loud stereo and a lift is vast. You can be treated for hyperacusis (if that's what you have), but I'm going to assume you're against any treatment. To me that's like someone with a headache refusing to take an aspirin. But it's your prerogative.
I understand that aspies are "different," but you know what? Everybody in the world is different. All NTs are not the same. Every person has his own pains, problems, sensitivities, etc. Lumping all NTs in together is like lumping everybody on the spectrum together. The world cannot bend to accommodate your every personal need. That's just the way life is. Everyday noise is not "wrong" or "bad" just because you don't like it, or because it causes you pain. I have arthritis and experience pain going up long flights of stairs. I don't go around ranting about how wrong stairs are, or how all buildings should be one story. I understand that most people do not have arthritis, and therefore do not have a problem with stairs. The stairs are not the problem, my arthritis is.
I do practise tolerance and I find it pretty offensive of you to imply that I don't. I wear earplugs whenever I step out of my house and I only make complaints to organisations about unusually loud noises.
Regarding aspies 'expecting' people to be tolerant of their quirks - this often stems from the fact that many people are intolerant, and we are asking that they change their ways. It is hardly the case that NTs are all that tolerant of AS.
I am very tolerant of NTs and don't feel justified in being intolerant. It is like you have just decided I am a bad person, like you want to make me look bad when you don't even know me.
I have no diagnosis regarding my hearing, and also I don't see how having particularly good hearing is a medical condition. The idea of 'curing' my good hearing is just as offensive and ridiculous to me as 'curing' my AS.
I work with disabled people and there is good assistive technology available for people with hearing impairments so that they can hear their devices (tv, phone, stereo etc) without out having it at a volume that inconveniences others. And most people with hearing impairments are very willing to do this.
Regarding your arthritis, firstly that is something that is easier to classify as an illness than good hearing or AS is, and secondly, here in the UK, legally people have to make reasonable adjustments for the disabled, so buildings should provide lifts of some kind.
Can someone help me with barnburner becuase I think he is just going to have a go at me.
I have learning difficulties so I need help to defend myself as I have difficult articulating myself.
In my opinion re. this disagreement between barnburner & alien girl.
First perhaps it would help If the NT v AS issue was to be removed.
I don't know whether alien girls' pain is physical or mental, not that it makes a great deal of difference, pain is pain, but a physical pain is more easily treated than a mental pain.
Nobody can assess the degree of pain that anyone is suffering as it is a very personal thing, the same applies to fear. Yes many people are able one way or another to manage a fear / phobia, but other cases are never fully cured, even after many years of therapy & treatment.
Pain & fear are increased by lack of a known cause & also by other people disbelieving that it exists or blaming the person for having it.
Some loud noises are almost unavoidable, but many are caused by selfish people of all kinds.
Here in the UK we have legislation to make buildings accessible to all, there is also legislation regarding excessive noise, however this is much easier for people to ignore than access.
The legislation regarding noise exists because it has long been known that exposure to this causes deafness.
My son has hypersensitive hearing & the positive side to this is he can hear a fly walking on the wall, that can a useful ability to have ( not particularly re flies ), but if he was in a jungle he would hear things that others' couldn't.
The downside is terrible pain that has him in tears.
He lives with it, but that is reasonably easy to do because we live in the country.
Thanks woman from mars
I am going to withdraw my attention from this thread as I don't like arguing with people and I don't want this to escalate. I guess sometimes you have to agree to disagree. I hope it can be left at that.
Bye
In my opinion re. this disagreement between barnburner & alien girl.
First perhaps it would help If the NT v AS issue was to be removed.
I don't know whether alien girls' pain is physical or mental, not that it makes a great deal of difference, pain is pain, but a physical pain is more easily treated than a mental pain.
Nobody can assess the degree of pain that anyone is suffering as it is a very personal thing, the same applies to fear. Yes many people are able one way or another to manage a fear / phobia, but other cases are never fully cured, even after many years of therapy & treatment.
Pain & fear are increased by lack of a known cause & also by other people disbelieving that it exists or blaming the person for having it.
Some loud noises are almost unavoidable, but many are caused by selfish people of all kinds.
Here in the UK we have legislation to make buildings accessible to all, there is also legislation regarding excessive noise, however this is much easier for people to ignore than access.
The legislation regarding noise exists because it has long been known that exposure to this causes deafness.
My son has hypersensitive hearing  & the positive side to this is he can hear a fly walking on the wall, that can a useful ability to have ( not particularly re flies ), but if he was in a jungle he would hear things that others' couldn't.
The downside is terrible pain that has him in tears.
He lives with it, but that is reasonably easy to do because we live in the country.
Agreed in full, Woman from Mars. I also have extra sensitive hearing and get very distressed at times and some of it is due to inconsiderate behaviour from others making too much noise (radios/music systems/TVs really loud and so on). I've tried being tolerant and it is still painful and causes me to be in tears in shopping centres sometimes. I don't believe it is fair for somebody to say we are imagining things or that we should be doing all the adjusting.
I want to know why someone hasn't invented a silent vacuum cleaner, and lawnmowers...
at 24 I am still scared by the vacuum,.. I can bring myself to actually use it now, with preparation,... but I still instinctively jump back from it when I turn it on...
I also hate toilets flushing, and the sound of bathwater going down the plug hole... I always gather everything up, and run from the bathroom as soon as I've pulled the plug.
), NO pain at all & with the last didn't even know I was in labour, I had a bit of difficulty breathing, so thought I'd better go to the hospital & just made it in time. 
